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The other morning I took a pair of underwear out of the drawer.
"What the hell?" I said to myself as a little "dust" cloud appeared
when I shook them out.
"Jeanette," I ...
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Who wrote the Christmas song "It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year"?
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Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline...
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are codependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If ...
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The post office just recalled their newest stamps:
they had pictures of lawyers on them...and the people couldn't figure
out which side to spit on.
How are an apple and a ...
Viewed 9 times
When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know...
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Network Blitz
While I was driving down the road the other day (going a little faster than I should have been) I passed over a bridge only to see a cop on the other side with a ...
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I suppose this explains why he's always so jolly...
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USEFUL METRIC CONVERSIONS
1 million microphones: 1 phone
1 million phones: 1 megaphone
1 million bicycles = 2 megacycles
2000 mockingbirds = two kilomockingbirds
10 ...
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Toward the end of our senior year in high school, we were required to take
a CPR course. The classes used the well known mannequin victim,
Resusci-Annie, to practice. Typical ...
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The proper way to pronounce "Oklahoma" is ...
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The answer to the last question, for anyone left wondering...
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Who provided the voice of Robin on TV's "Superfriends"?
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What war established the military career of the man for whom Mount Vernon is named?
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My first job was working in an orange juice factory,
but I got canned...
couldn't concentrate.
Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack,
but I just couldn't hack it, ...
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by Curtis Wiggins This is a paraphrased recollection of an actual conversation I had with my mother when I was about four or five… Me: What’s an easter egg hunt? Mom: We take ...
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A business owner in Texas was confused about paying an invoice minus the
early payment discount, so he decided to ask his secretary for some
mathematical help. He called her ...
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You never feed me.
Perhaps I'll sleep on your face.
That will sure show you.
I need a new toy.
Tail of black dog keeps good time.
Pounce! Good dog! Good dog!
...
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"19 Things That Took Me 50 Years To Learn" By Dave Barry
1. Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
2. If you had to identify, in ...
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ALBERT EINSTEIN'S RIDDLE
ARE YOU IN THE TOP 2% OF INTELLIGENT PEOPLE IN THE WORLD?
SOLVE THE RIDDLE AND FIND OUT.
There are no tricks, just pure logic, so good luck and ...
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One Monday morning, Little Johnny's kindergarten
teacher, Miss Needlemeyer, decided to have a special
show-and-tell session in which each child could tell about
something ...
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