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Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline...
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are codependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If ...
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by Curtis Wiggins Golf Ball + Tennis Racquet + Indoor Hallway = Awesome! No toilet paper, no paper towels... got coffee filters? You can make pizza with Bisquick and spaghetti. You ...
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Michael Jackson describes his September 11th experience in the March issue of Vibe... "I was in New York (after performing at Madison Square Garden on Sept. 7 and 10), and I got ...
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LITTLE JOHNNY ON SEX
Little Johnny walked into his dad's bedroom one day only to catch him sitting
on the side of his bed sliding a condom onto his dick in preparation of sex ...
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Frequently Asked Questions
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The answer to the last question, for anyone left wondering...
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When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know...
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The post office just recalled their newest stamps:
they had pictures of lawyers on them...and the people couldn't figure
out which side to spit on.
How are an apple and a ...
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TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM - You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the
income.
AN AMERICAN ...
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Introducing Bobby Fairhope, Redneck
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A High School English Teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. She tells the class that there would be no excuse for not showing up, except for a serious injury or ...
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Visit these friends and sponsors of The Manbottle Library
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Links to other sources of questionable humor and arcane knowledge
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I suppose this explains why he's always so jolly...

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From where does the "Margherita Pizza" get it's name?
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My husband came home with a tube of KY jelly and said, "This will make you
happy tonight." He was right. When he went out of the bedroom, I squirted it
all over the doorknobs. ...
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Strange Therapy Sessions
A couple, both age 76, went to a sex therapist's office. The
doctor asked, "What can I do for you?"
The man said, "Will you watch us have sexual ...
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Happy Jan. 20th... Which is also known as...
Feast Day of St. Paula the Bearded
According to fourth-century legend, Paula was pursued by an enraptured youth into a church, ...
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by Curtis Wiggins
I can die now. I have seen everything. There is nothing left that could possibly top what I have seen. Oh, I thought I had seen it all. I have seen a man walk ...
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When I was a child, I had a dream that I looked up at the stars, and in the stars I saw the answer. THE answer, the ultimate answer to everything. It was perfect, it was beautiful, ...
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... Yes, all of our animals have jobs, and compound nicknames. Phineas, the big dog, is known as Security-Dog. He was born a security dog. He takes great pride in ...
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by Curtis Wiggins I have a friend who is starting a new job soon. I just had a dream where I was concerned about whether or not he would like this new morning radio show we were ...
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Every year, English teachers from across the country can submit their collections of actual similes and metaphors found in high school essays. These excerpts are published each ...
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