Words and Phrases
More buzz words to laugh at... and then incorporate into daily life (at
least for your fellow office dwellers)
Dilbert's latest vocabulary additions: NEW WORDS FOR THE 90'S:
BLAMESTORMING: Sitting around in a group, discussing why a
deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.
SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise,
craps on everything, and then leaves.
CHAINSAW CONSULTANT:An outside expert brought in to reduce the
employee headcount, leaving the top brass with clean hands.
CUBE FARM: An office filled with cubicles.
IDEA HAMSTERS: People who always seem to have their idea
generators running.
MOUSE POTATO: The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch
potato.
PRAIRIE DOGGING: When someone yells or drops something loudly in a
cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.
SITCOMs: (Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage) What
yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working
to stay home with the kids.
SQUIRT THE BIRD: To transmit a signal to a satellite.
STARTER MARRIAGE: A short-lived first marriage that ends in
divorce with no kids, no property and no regrets.
STRESS PUPPY: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out
and whiny.
SWIPED OUT: An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless
because the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.
TOURISTS: People who take training classes just to get a vacation
from their jobs. "We had three serious students in the class; the rest
were just tourists.
TREEWARE: Hacker slang for documentation or other printed material.
XEROX SUBSIDY: Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's
workplace.
ALPHA GEEK: The most knowledgeable, technically proficient
person in an office or work group.
ASSMOSIS: The process by which some people seem to absorb
success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working
hard.
CHIPS & SALSA: Chips = hardware, salsa = software. "Well, first we
gotta figure out if the problem's in your chips or your salsa.
FLIGHT RISK: Used to describe employees who are suspected of
planning to leave a company or department soon.
GOOD Job = A "Get-Out-Of-Debt" job. A well-paying job people take
in order to pay off their debts, one that they will quit as soon as they are
solvent again.
IRRITAINMENT: Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying
but you find yourself unable to stop watching them. The O.J. trials were a
prime example. Bill Clinton's shameful video Grand Jury testimony is another.
PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE: The fine art of whacking the heck out of an
electronic device to get it to work again.
UNINSTALLED: Euphemism for being fired. Heard on the voice-mail
of a vice president at a downsizing computer firm: "You have reached the
number of an Uninstalled Vice President. Please dial our main number and
ask the operator for assistance. *(Syn: decruitment.)
VULCAN NERVE PINCH: The taxing hand position required to reach all
the appropriate keys for certain commands. For instance, the warm re-boot
for a Mac II computer involves simultaneously pressing the Control key, the
Command key, the Return key, and the Power On key.
YUPPIE FOOD STAMPS: The ubiquitous $20 bills spewed out of ATMs
everywhere. Often used when trying to split the bill after a meal, "We each
owe $8, but all anybody's got are yuppie food stamps."
