Urban Legends
To my friends, thanks to you sending me urban legend chain letters in 2003:
I stopped drinking Coca Cola after I found out that it's good for removing
toilet stains.
I stopped going to the movies for fear of sitting on a needle infected with
AIDS.
I smell like a dog since I stopped using deodorants because they cause
cancer.
I don't leave my car in the parking lot or any other place and sometimes I
even have to walk about 7 blocks for fear that someone will drug me with a
perfume sample and try to rob me.
I also stopped answering the phone for fear that they ask me to dial a
stupid number and then I get a phone bill from hell with calls to Uganda,
Singapore and Tokyo.
I also stopped eating chicken and hamburgers because they are nothing other
than horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers that are bred in a lab
so that places like McDonalds or KFC can sell their Big Macs and Buckets.
I also stopped drinking anything out of a can for fear that I will get sick
from the rat feces and urine.
When I go to parties, I don't look at any girl no matter how hot she is, for
fear that she will take my kidneys and leave me taking a nap in a bathtub
full of ice.
I also donated all my savings to the Amy Bruce account. A sick girl that was
about to die in the hospital about 7,000 times. Funny that girl, she's been
7 since 1993...
I went bankrupt from bounced checks that I made expecting the $15,000 that
Microsoft and AOL were supposed to send me when I participated in their
special e-mail program.
My Nokia phone never arrived and neither did the passes for a paid vacation
to Disneyland. But I am positive that all this is the cause of a stinking
chain that I broke or forgot to follow and I got a curse from hell.
IMPORTANT NOTE: If you do not send this e-mail to at least 1200 people in
the next 10 seconds, a bird will crap on you today at 5.30pm.
