The yuppie
An ambitious yuppie finally decided to take a vacation. He booked himself
on a Caribbean cruise and proceeded to have the time of his life. Until the
boat sank. The man found himself swept up on the shore of an island with
no other people, no supplies... Nothing. Only bananas and coconuts.
After about four months, he is lying on the beach one day when the most
gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows up to him. In disbelief, he asks her,
"Where did you come from? How did you get here?" "I rowed from the other
side of the island," she says. "I landed here when my cruise ship sank."
"Amazing," he says. "You were really lucky to have a rowboat wash up with
you." "Oh, this?" replies the woman. "I made the rowboat out of raw material
I found on the island; the oars were whittled from gum tree branches; I wove
the bottom from palm branches; and the sides and stern came from a
eucalyptus tree."
"But-but, that's impossible," stutters the man. "You had no tools or
hardware. How did you manage?"
"Oh, that was no problem," replies the woman. "On the south side of the
island, there is a very unusual strata of alluvial rock exposed. I found if I
fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into forgeable ductile
iron. I used that for tools and used the tools to make the hardware." The
guy is stunned.
"Let's row over to my place, " she says. After a few minutes of rowing,
she docks the boat at a small wharf. As the man looks onto shore, he
nearly falls out of the boat. Before him is a stone walk leading to an
exquisite bungalow painted in blue and white. While the woman ties up
the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope, the man can only stare
ahead, dumb struck.
As they walk into the house, she says casually. "It's not much, but I call
It home. Sit down please; would you like to have a drink?" "No, no thank
you," he says, still dazed. "Can't take any more coconut juice." "It's not
coconut juice," the woman replies. "I have a still. How about a Pina Colada?"
Trying to hide his continued amazement, the man accepts, and they sit
down on her couch to talk. After they have exchanged their stories, the
woman announces, "I'm going to slip into something more comfortable.
Would you like to take a shower and shave? There is a razor upstairs in
the bathroom cabinet."
No longer questioning anything, the man goes into the bathroom. There, in
the cabinet, is a razor made from a bone handle. Two shells honed to a
hollow ground edge are fastened on to its end inside of a swivel mechanism.
"This woman is amazing," he muses. "What next?" When he returns, she
greets him wearing nothing but vines-strategically positioned-and smelling
faintly of gardenias. She beckons for him to sit down next to her. "Tell me,"
she begins, suggestively, slithering closer to him, "we've been out here for a
really long time. You've been lonely. There's something I'm sure you really
feel like doing right now, something you've been longing for all these months?
You know..." She stares into his eyes.
He can't believe what he's hearing. "You mean...?", he swallows excitedly,
"I can check my e-mail from here...?
