The Pillsbury Doughboy
Dear Friends:
It is with the saddest heart that I have to pass on the following news.
Please join me in remembering a great icon. Veteran Pillsbury
spokesperson, The Pillsbury Doughboy, died yesterday of a severe
yeast infection and complications from repeated pokes to the belly.
He was 71.
Doughboy was buried in a slightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities
turned out, including Mrs. Butterworth, the California Raisins, Hungry
Jack, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, Captain Crunch, and
many others.
The graveside was piled high with flours. Longtime friend, Aunt Jemima,
delivered the eulogy, describing Doughboy as a man who "never knew
how much he was kneaded."
Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled
with many turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, as
he wasted much of his dough on half-baked schemes.
Despite being a little flaky at times, even as a crusty old man he was
considered a roll model for millions. Toward the end it was thought
he'd rise once again, but he was no tart.
Doughboy is survived by his second wife, Play Dough. They have two
children and one in the oven.
The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.
