Send us money for beer please
This is a real, honest-to-god, piece of SPAM (junk mail) that
I received recently, back before Enron and Worldcom and
other as yet undisclosed corporate crimes.
It's a bit on the long side, but you've certainly got to admire
their honesty…
-ed.
subject: Send us money for beer please
At http://Xanthus.Net we have assembled a great crew of
software developers but no one needs our services. We
have tried just about everything, read on if you don't
believe me. Needless to say, we are running out of beer
money.
We are total information systems solution providers, we
provide highly cost effective solutions integrating best of
breed Open Source tools with our clients enterprise using
cutting edge XML based Web Services Architecture.
But the recession has sent us begging.
We developed the http://VacationMiX.com web booking
engine that can save hundreds of dollars by packaging
unpublished airfares with hotel rooms and one stop
shopping for just about everything else needed for a perfect
vacation. We have real travel agents on-line to answer
every need. Other travel companies are using the booking
engine we developed successfully.
But after Sept. 11, our backers backed out, and the only two
vacations sold on http://VacationMiX.com were to my
mother and my wife.
To coordinate complex projects in travel and banking
which involved cooperation of numerous organizations for
success, we developed http://Xtask.Net and love it and
continually improve it. Xtask uses webflow and active
email to insure no tasks get lost and that responsibilities are
clearly acknowledged and actively reported, and that our
customers can get the status of any of their tasks whenever
they want. It even does time accounting and supports
ISO9000 Quality Assurance reporting. We think it would be
valuable for any organization but have hardly tried to sell it
and haven't made a single sale!
Since we can't sell it we are now giving http://Xtask.net
accounts away free. I sure could use a beer!
Our founders have been building email solutions, virtual
communities and groupware for over 25 years. We
provided one for free, http://TheRealNewark.com for The
Greater Newark Business Forum in the hopes that it would
bring in some business.
So far, it hasn't brought in a penny.
The hallmark of our work is supporting the entire
organization, the intranet, the Internet and the extranet from
customer service to administration including customers and
suppliers. We developed customer relationship
management tools including contact management, customer
preference management and email campaign management.
We were sure every organization could use these
capabilities.
But so far we have only one potential customer. A beer
would taste really good right now!..
We provide aggressive web marketing solutions - by using
custom web designs fitting your company products and
services, positioning your site to attract maximum
attention, utilizing search engine strategy and placement,
and utilizing innovative web marketing techniques. Too
bad we don't have the money to use it for ourselves!
Since we can't sell it, we'll evaluate your existing web site
effectiveness for free! http://Xanthus.Net/Current/evaluation.shtml
We provide domain name registration, yourcompany.com
as low as $9.95 per year with first class customer service
and the unsurpassed DynaGen domain name finder via
http://TheREalNIC.com but without money for marketing,
hardly anybody comes.
It seems apparent that no one needs our services.
Everything I've told you is absolutely true. Please send us
beer money to Xanthus, Inc., suite 305, 105 Lock Street,
Newark, NJ 07103, or pay by credit card at
http://www.xanthus.net/Current/xan_host.php?from=xan or phone
us at 973-643-0920 or 888-497-4241 and be sure to copy this
message to everyone on your mailing list.
Please hurry! We are getting really thirsty!
Jim
p.s. If you know anybody you think could use our services,
let us know at sales@xanthus.net . We also do websites
and hosting. We can make it worth your while. Let's talk.
reseller@xanthus.net
p.p.s. I failed to mention the good things happening at
Xanthus. We are moving forward in the development of
affinity banking with more banks like
http://aaanonj.1stwbd.com featuring real time credit checks,
real time authentication, and real time account origination.
In the merchant account area we are exclusively offering
MerchantPlus services including gift and loyalty cards,
cash cards, signature capture for small to medium size
organizations. We specialize in multi-lane and multi-
location applications. In addition, we are building on a
history of virtual classroom development building on-line
services for Media Services, Distance Learning and
Continuing Professional Education for New Jersey Institute
of Technology. We are building on a history of successful
software systems and, I believe, have a promising future.
We are however, like many companies today, facing a
reduction in force due to the recession. This can improve
our cash flow and make us stronger and poised to grow. I
also expect that our efforts that are not yet bearing fruit will
begin to bloom soon.
But, I talked with our young staff who are vulnerable to the
reduction in force. Some suggested that if we must go
begging, we should al least be honest about it. They didn't
mind giving a bum a buck when he said he needed if for a
beer. "Tell them we need money for beer!" My partners
will disown me, no doubt, for actually sending out this
email, but the kids are family and I couldn't feel good
unless I at least tried their suggestion. And, I had BIG fun
writing this and hope you are enjoying it. So, if you are still
reading this...
Don't forget to copy this message to everyone in your mailing
list. Please! These guys are really really really thirsty. :-)
We appreciate your support.
You received this email because you or someone else listed
your email address at a jokes site and I thought
you might be interested this message. To be removed
from our list or update your interest profile go to
http://xanthus.net/Current/membership.php?email=[deleted]
