Random Thoughts
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person to use
the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
Some people are like Slinkies... not really good for anything, but you still
can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and I
think, "Well, that's not going to happen."
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of
nothing.
The other night I ate at a real family restaurant. Every table had an
argument going.
Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks
about seeing UFOs like they used to.
According to a recent survey, men say the first thing they notice about a
woman is their eyes, and women say the first thing they notice about men is
they're a bunch of liars.
Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to
criticism.
Have you noticed that a slight tax increase costs you two hundred dollars
and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?
In the 60's people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird
and people take Prozac to make it normal.
Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to
realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.
How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole
box to start a campfire?
