Punch Lines
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work?
A stick.
What is a zebra?
26 sizes larger than an "A" bra.
What kind of coffee was served on the Titanic? Sanka.
and what kind of lettuce? Iceberg.
What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal
thermometer?
The taste.
What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Anyone can roast beef.
Constipated People Don't Give A Crap.
What's twelve inches long and white?
Nothing.
USA Today has come out with a new survey, three out of every
four people make up 75 percent of the population.
What should you give a man who has everything?
Penicillin
Q: What is it when a man talks dirty to a woman?
A: Sexual harassment.
Q: What is it when a woman talks dirty to a man?
A: $3.99 a minute.
What's the similarity between a blonde and a turtle?
Once on their back, they're both F_cked!
What do you call female Viagra?
Jewelry.
Q: Why don't women need driver's licenses?
A: There's no road between the bedroom and the kitchen. (ducking...)
What's the ultimate in rejection?
When you're masturbating and your hand falls asleep.
Q. How do you know when you are getting old?
A. When you start having dry dreams and wet farts.
Q. What do Disney World & Viagra have in common?
A. They both make you wait an hour for a two minute ride.