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Blonde Joke 12

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A blonde wanted to go ice fishing. She'd seen many books on the subject and finally after getting all the necessary "tools" together, she made for the nearest frozen lake. ...

How old do you feel

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How Old Do You Feel? To get an idea of the lives of those entering college this fall, read on......... and try not to laugh............... 1. The people who are starting ...

Microsoft Windaz 2000

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New Australian version of Windows...
Aussie Windaz 2000

Giving up wine

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I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner. I took out my wallet, ...

Lipstick at School

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According to a news report, a certain private school in Washington recently was faced with a unique problem. A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and ...

Santa's Little Helpers

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I suppose this explains why he's always so jolly...
Santa's little helpers

48 phrases we wish we could say at work

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1. Ahhh... I see the f_ck-up fairy has visited us again... 2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce. 3. How about never? Is never good for ...

Blonde Joke 11

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The police academy instructor was conducting an in-class survey, questioning three blonde female officers who were training to become detectives. To test their skills in ...

The Best Chain Letter a Woman Will Ever Get

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The Best Chain Letter a Woman Will Ever Get This chain letter started in the hopes of bringing relief and happiness to tired housewives. It has, however, expanded its usefulness ...

Little Johnny (fascinate)

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A teacher asked her students to use the word "fascinate" in a sentence. Mary said, "My family went to the New York City Zoo, and we saw all the animals. It was fascinating." ...

WHAT MEN REALLY MEAN

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WHAT MEN REALLY MEAN "I'm going fishing." Really means, "I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by ...

Golf 4

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"My friend," said St. Peter to the recently deceased, "you did lead an exemplary life on earth-but there is one instance of your taking the name of The Lord in vain. Would you ...

Tips for Northerners moving South

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Tips for Northerners moving South 1. Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later how to use it. 2. If you forget a Southerner's name, refer to him (or ...

Fun with numbers

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After a few years of married life, this guy finds that he is unable to perform anymore. He goes to his doctor, and his doctor tries a few things but nothing works. Finally the ...

Funny Computer Virus

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Be on the lookout for the following computer viruses: * Woody Allen Virus: Bypasses the motherboard and turns on a daughter card. * Tonya Harding Virus: Turns your BAT files ...

Computer related quotes

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There are two major products that come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We don't believe this to be a coincidence. - Anderson, Jeremy S. If you put a billion monkeys in ...

Good Dentist

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A guy and a girl meet at a bar. They get along so well that they decide to go to his place. A few drinks later, the guy takes off his shirt and then washes his hands. They pet for ...

Comparing Stories

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Two women are new arrivals at the pearly gates, and are comparing stories on how they had died. "I froze to death," said the first woman. "You froze to death, how horrible!" ...

Witness

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In a trial, in a small SC town, a prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand. She was sworn in, asked if she would tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing ...

Taste Test

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TASTE TEST A college professor was doing a study testing the senses of first-graders using a bowl of Lifesavers. He gave all of the children the same kind of lifesaver, one at a ...

Class of 2006

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Once again, Beloit College has found new ways to make us feel old... Beloit, Wis. - In the coming weeks, a new generation of students will arrive on campuses throughout the ...

Presidential Quotes

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What US president once said "It is a good thing I am not a woman, as I would always be pregnant, for I cannot say no"

Famous Quotes on Sex

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Tom Clancy: "I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy." Steve Martin: "You know 'that look' women get when they want sex? ...

Message for the Manager

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A very attractive woman goes up to the bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who immediatley comes over to her. When he arrives, she seductively ...

 

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