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CLASSES FOR MEN AT OUR LOCAL LEARNING CENTER FOR ADULTS -
SIGN-UP BY June 1st
NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL OF THEIR CONTENTS,
EACH COURSE WILL ACCEPT A ...
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There was an old guy wandering around the
supermarket calling out, "Crisco, Crisco!"
Finally a store clerk approached. "Sir, the Crisco
is in aisle five."
"Oh," replied ...
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A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage he finally goes over to her and asks, tentatively, "Um, ...
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DEAR TIDE LAUNDRY DETERGENT:
I'm writing to say what an excellent product you have.
I've used it since the beginning of married life, when my
Mom told me it was the best. ...
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A Scottish old-timer in Scotland, in a bar, says to a young man, "Lad, look
out there to the field. Do ya see that fence? Look how well it's built. I
built that fence stone by ...
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Douglas Adams Quotes...
Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no
account be allowed to do the job.
In the beginning the Universe was ...
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Ya know, just make up your own joke here...
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When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know...
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Top 10 Questions You Should Never Ask When Being Interviewed For A Job :
1. What's your company's policy on severance pay?
2. How long does it take your company's ...
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Bill Clinton was walking along the White House fence when he came upon
a group of about a dozen boys, all of them between 10 and 12 years of
age.
The group surrounded a dog. ...
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Three women are about to be executed. One's a brunette, one's a
redhead, and one's a blonde.
The guard brings the brunette forward and the executioner asks
if she has any ...
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Tips for Northerners moving South
1. Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later how
to use it.
2. If you forget a Southerner's name, refer to him (or ...
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Here's a one-question IQ Test to help you decide how you should spend the rest of your day ... There is a mute who wants to buy a toothbrush. By imitating the action of ...
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Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the ...
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My husband came home with a tube of KY jelly and said, "This will make you
happy tonight." He was right. When he went out of the bedroom, I squirted it
all over the doorknobs. ...
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A woman recently lost her husband. Their marriage had been a very lousy
one, and she was relieved that he was finally gone. She had him cremated
and brought his ashes home.
...
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When you take a long time, you're slow.
When your boss takes a long time, he's thorough.
When you don't do it, you're lazy.
When your boss doesn't do it, he's too busy. ...
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COMPUTER, POWER STRIP I worked with an individual who plugged their power strip back into itself and for the life of them could not ...
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A young, blonde woman had the windows in
her house replaced with new double insulated,
energy efficient windows.
Twelve months later she gets an irate call from
the ...
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A High School English Teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. She tells the class that there would be no excuse for not showing up, except for a serious injury or ...
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The mother of a 17-year-old girl was concerned that her daughter was having sex. Worried the girl might become pregnant and adversely impact the family's status, she ...
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A guy stuck his head into a barber shop and asked, "How long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looked around the shop full of customers and said, "About 2 hours." The guy ...
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The boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees about an urgent problem with one of the main computers, dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a ...
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What a difference 30 years makes:
1972: Long hair
2002: Longing for hair
1972: The perfect high
2002: The perfect high yield mutual fund
1972: KEG
2002: EKG
...
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