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REASONS WHY THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE IS DIFFICULT TO LEARN
1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it ...
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Sixteen reasons why airplanes are easier to live with than women:
1) Airplanes usually kill you quickly, a woman takes her time.
2) Airplanes can be turned on by a flick of a ...
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The doctor, who had been seeing an 80-year-old woman for most of her life,
finally retired. At her next checkup, the new doctor told her to bring a
list of all the medicines ...
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You never feed me.
Perhaps I'll sleep on your face.
That will sure show you.
I need a new toy.
Tail of black dog keeps good time.
Pounce! Good dog! Good dog!
...
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Tom Clancy: "I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural,
wholesome things that money can buy."
Steve Martin: "You know 'that look' women get when they want sex? ...
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15. Sleep 'til noon. Still get to work by 8:00am!
14. Doppler shift makes red traffic lights look green.
13. Breaking laws of physics only a misdemeanor in most states.
...
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BATHROOM GRAFFITI:
"To some it's a six pack, to me it's a support group."
"The poor folks in Arkansas won't be celebrating Thanksgiving this year,
they sent their turkey to ...
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MICROSOFT VIRGIN
Did you hear about the woman who was married to a succession of three
Microsoft employees and still died a virgin?
Her first husband was in Training, and ...
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God Created Women.
God created woman and she had 3 breasts.
He then asked the woman, "Is there anything
you'd like to have changed?"
She replied, "Yes, could get rid of ...
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A High School English Teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. She tells the class that there would be no excuse for not showing up, except for a serious injury or ...
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1. Blaming your farts on me....not funny...not funny at all! 2. Yelling at me for barking. I'M A FRIGGIN' DOG, YOU IDIOT! 3. Taking me for a walk, then not letting me ...
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A man was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner. The man took out ...
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Just wanted to warn everyone there's a new virus
-code name is "Work." If you receive "Work" from
your colleagues, your boss, or any one else, do not
touch "Work" under any ...
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A blonde walks into a pharmacy and asks the assistant for some rectum
deodorant. The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the woman they
don't sell rectum deodorant, and ...
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1. It's an incentive to show up.
2. It leads to more honest communications.
3. It reduces complaints about low pay.
4. Employees tell management what they think, not what ...
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A blonde was driving home after work, and got caught in a really bad
hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it to a
repair shop. The shop owner saw ...
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Are you a prostitute or a software consultant…
1. You work very odd hours.
2. You are paid a lot of money to keep your client
happy.
3. You are paid well
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A bunch of Indians capture a cowboy and bring him back to their camp to meet the chief. The chief says to the cowboy, "You going to die. But we sorry for you, so give you one wish ...
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TOP TWENTY REASONS WHY CHOCOLATE IS BETTER THAN SEX:
1) You can GET chocolate.
2) "If you love me you'll swallow that" has real meaning with chocolate.
3) Chocolate ...
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They always ask at the doctor's office why you are there, and you have to answer in front of others what's wrong and sometimes it is embarrassing. There's nothing worse ...
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Peter Davies was on holiday in Kenya, after graduating from Northwestern University, same place my dad went to school. On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull ...
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Fathers Pietro and George are in a Vatican bathroom using the urinals. Father Pietro looks at the other priest's equipment and notices there's a Nicoderm patch on the ...
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At Heathrow Airport today, an individual, later
discovered to be a public school teacher, was
arrested trying to board a flight while in possession
of a compass, a ...
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I suppose this explains why he's always so jolly...
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