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Why dogs are better than wives

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1. The later you are, the more excited they are to see you. 2. Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs. 3. If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don't hate it. ...

Little Johnny (1)

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One day, the teacher walks into her classroom and announces to the class that on each Friday, she will ask a question to the class and anyone who answers correctly doesn't have ...

Florida Hurricane Season Notes

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We're about to enter the peak of the hurricane season. Any day now, you're going to turn on the TV and see a weather person pointing to some radar blob out in the Gulf of Mexico ...

Better with age

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Strange Therapy Sessions A couple, both age 76, went to a sex therapist's office. The doctor asked, "What can I do for you?" The man said, "Will you watch us have sexual ...

Out of college too long

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YOU KNOW YOU'VE BEEN OUT OF COLLEGE TOO LONG WHEN.... * Your potted plants stay alive. * Having sex in a twin sized bed is absurd. * You keep more food than beer in the ...

Final Exam - No Excuses

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A High School English Teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. She tells the class that there would be no excuse for not showing up, except for a serious injury or ...

Speeding Ticket Stories

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GOOD: A policeman had a perfect spot to watch for speeders, but wasn't getting many. Then he discovered the problem - a 10-year-old boy was standing up the road with a hand ...

Short Cowboy

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There was a midget (little person) down in Texas whose testicles ached almost all the time. The midget went to the doctor and told him what the problem was. The doctor told ...

Hot Dog

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Hotdog

Kids Say... (part 3)

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A kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they drew. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's artwork. As she got to one little girl ...

Why men are so proud of themselves...

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1. They know stuff about guns. 2. A two week trip requires only one suitcase. 3. They can open all of their jars. 4. They can go to the bathroom without a support group. ...

Cowboys

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Two cowboys were leanin up against the rail at their favorite bar. They're tired and worn out from a long day, havin a couple of longnecks, just relaxin and talkin, watchin ...

Boys

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You find out interesting things when you have sons, like...   1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.   2.) If you spray ...

Lessons

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Lesson 1 A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When ...

Smoke Test of Electronics

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"A Treatise on the Importance of Smoke" by Joseph Lucas All electrical components and wiring harnesses depend on proper circuit functioning, which is the transmission of ...

Squirrels

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There were three country churches in a small Texas town: the Presbyterian church, the Methodist church and the Catholic church. Each church was overrun with pesky squirrels. ...

Old Age

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A little old man shuffled slowly... into an ice cream parlor. He pulled himself slowly... painfully... up onto a stool... After catching his breath... he ordered a ...

Santa's Little Helpers

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I suppose this explains why he's always so jolly...
Santa's little helpers

Somewhere in Texas...

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At a small airport terminal somewhere in Texas, three strangers awaiting their shuttle flight start conversing about the recent world events. The strangers were of varying ...

Chocolate is a Vegetable

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Chocolate is derived from cocoa beans. Bean = vegetable. Sugar is derived from either sugar cane or sugar BEETS. Both of them are plants, in the vegetable category. Thus, ...

Pet Diaries

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EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DIARY Day number 181 8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE! 9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE! 9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE! ...

New Study

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A study in London showed that the kind of "male face" a woman finds attractive can differ depending on where a woman is in her menstrual cycle. For instance, if she is ...

At the movies

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An old farmer named George went to town to see a movie. The ticket girl asked "Sir, what is that on your shoulder?" The old farmer said "That is my pet rooster, Chuckie. Where ...

Quick Thinking

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A man walked into the produce section of his local supermarket and asked to buy half a head of lettuce. The boy working in that department told him that they only sold whole ...

 

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