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A short joke

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A baby seal walks into a club....

Final Exam - No Excuses

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A High School English Teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. She tells the class that there would be no excuse for not showing up, except for a serious injury or ...

Church Newspapers

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These are actual clippings from church newspapers. It's amazing what a little proof-reading would provide... National PRAYER & FASTING Conference: "The cost for attending the ...

A crusty old man walks into a bank...

Viewed 12 times
A crusty old man walks into a bank and says to the woman at the teller window "I want to open a damn checking account." The astonished woman replies, "I beg your pardon, sir. I ...

The Druggist

Viewed 10 times
A lady walks into the drug store and asks the druggist for some arsenic. The druggist asks "Ma'am, what do you want with arsenic?" The lady say's "To kill my husband." ...

Ethnic Survivor

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Note: In case you were wondering, our current policy on ethnic humor is available on the manbottle library website: http://www.manbottle.com/ethnic.htm - editor

Had a bad day

Viewed 9 times
Just in case you've had a rough day, here's a stress management technique. Recommended in all the latest psychological texts. The funny thing is that it really works... 1. ...

Summer BBQ Season

Viewed 8 times
After 6 long months of cold and winter, we are finally coming up to summer and BBQ season.  Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime ...

Witness

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In a trial, in a small SC town, a prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand. She was sworn in, asked if she would tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing ...

Santa's Little Helpers

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I suppose this explains why he's always so jolly...
Santa's little helpers

Marital Aids

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An older Polish man marries a younger Polish lady and they are very much in love. However, no matter what the husband does sexually, the woman never achieves orgasm. In order to ...

20 thinnest books

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The top 20 thinnest books 20. HOW TO LAND A PLANE AT MARTHA'S VINEYARD - by JFK, Jr. 19. HOW TO PLEASE WOMEN - by John Bobbit 18. MY PLAN TO FIND THE REAL KILLERS-by O. ...

Florist

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A local florist just went out of business, but it was his own fault. He kept getting his orders mixed up. One woman received flowers sent by her husband, who was at a business ...

The Prescription

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A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office. After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone. He said, "Your husband is suffering from a very ...

Presidential Quotes

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What US president once said "It is a good thing I am not a woman, as I would always be pregnant, for I cannot say no"

Divine Interventions

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I don't usually links to other websites, but when I stumbled across this one while wandering the outer fringes of the Internet, I knew I had to make an exception... (Be ...

If you steal a car, don't drink the yogurt...

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Thursday January 4 7:50 AM ET Car Thieves Drink HIV-Infected Blood RIO DE JANEIRO (Reuters) - Two members of a gang of Brazilian car thieves may have drank vials of ...

Quote

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Who originally said... "My greatest wish is that none of my children become lawyers."

Capitalism and Cows

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TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM - You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income. AN AMERICAN ...

Man Foils Armed Robbery with Tin of Sauerkraut

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Man Foils Armed Robbery with Tin of Sauerkraut BERLIN (Reuters) - An elderly German man thwarted armed robbers by throwing a tin of sauerkraut at them, police said on Friday. ...

The boy, the old man, and the donkey

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The boy rode on the donkey and the old man walked. As they went along they passed some people who remarked it was a shame the old man was walking and the boy was riding. The man ...

Gender

Viewed 6 times
What Gender Is It? ZIPLOC BAGS - male, because they hold everything in, but you can always see right through them. SWISS ARMY KNIFE - male, because even though it appears ...

48 phrases we wish we could say at work

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1. Ahhh... I see the f_ck-up fairy has visited us again... 2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce. 3. How about never? Is never good for ...

Elderly Sex

Viewed 6 times
On hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95 year old grandmother and comfort her. When she asked ...

 

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