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English Language

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REASONS WHY THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE IS DIFFICULT TO LEARN 1) The bandage was wound around the wound. 2) The farm was used to produce produce. 3) The dump was so full that it ...

A short joke

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A baby seal walks into a club....

Ethnic Survivor

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Note: In case you were wondering, our current policy on ethnic humor is available on the manbottle library website: http://www.manbottle.com/ethnic.htm - editor

Larry Walters, Lawn Chair Pilot

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Larry Walters is among the relatively few who have actually turned their dreams into reality. His story is true, though you may find it hard to believe.  Larry was a truck ...

The Doctor's Office

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They always ask at the doctor's office why you are there, and you have to answer in front of others what's wrong and sometimes it is embarrassing. There's nothing worse ...

MS Virgin

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MICROSOFT VIRGIN Did you hear about the woman who was married to a succession of three Microsoft employees and still died a virgin? Her first husband was in Training, and ...

The Druggist

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A lady walks into the drug store and asks the druggist for some arsenic. The druggist asks "Ma'am, what do you want with arsenic?" The lady say's "To kill my husband." ...

Santa's Little Helpers

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I suppose this explains why he's always so jolly...
Santa's little helpers

20 thinnest books

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The top 20 thinnest books 20. HOW TO LAND A PLANE AT MARTHA'S VINEYARD - by JFK, Jr. 19. HOW TO PLEASE WOMEN - by John Bobbit 18. MY PLAN TO FIND THE REAL KILLERS-by O. ...

Gender

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What Gender Is It? ZIPLOC BAGS - male, because they hold everything in, but you can always see right through them. SWISS ARMY KNIFE - male, because even though it appears ...

Are you a prostitute or a software consultant...

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Are you a prostitute or a software consultant… 1. You work very odd hours. 2. You are paid a lot of money to keep your client happy. 3. You are paid well

Blonde Joke 6

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A blonde walks into a pharmacy and asks the assistant for some rectum deodorant. The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the woman they don't sell rectum deodorant, and ...

Cat Haiku

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You never feed me. Perhaps I'll sleep on your face. That will sure show you. I need a new toy. Tail of black dog keeps good time. Pounce! Good dog! Good dog! ...

Bumper Stickers 2

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Seen on the back of a biker's vest: If you can read this, my wife fell off. Horn Broken, Watch for Finger If you can read this, please flip me back over... (seen upside down, ...

Cave Symbols

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A team of archaeologists was excavating in Israel when they came upon a cave. Written on the wall of the cave were the following symbols in order of appearance. 1. A dog 2. A ...

Church Newspapers

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These are actual clippings from church newspapers. It's amazing what a little proof-reading would provide... National PRAYER & FASTING Conference: "The cost for attending the ...

17 reasons why alcohol should be served at work

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1. It's an incentive to show up. 2. It leads to more honest communications. 3. It reduces complaints about low pay. 4. Employees tell management what they think, not what ...

If you steal a car, don't drink the yogurt...

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Thursday January 4 7:50 AM ET Car Thieves Drink HIV-Infected Blood RIO DE JANEIRO (Reuters) - Two members of a gang of Brazilian car thieves may have drank vials of ...

A Highly Practiced Technique

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A man walks into the market followed by his ten-year-old son. The kid is spinning a 25 cent piece in the air and catching it between his teeth. As they walk through the market ...

Final Exam - No Excuses

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A High School English Teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. She tells the class that there would be no excuse for not showing up, except for a serious injury or ...

New virus alert

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Just wanted to warn everyone there's a new virus -code name is "Work." If you receive "Work" from your colleagues, your boss, or any one else, do not touch "Work" under any ...

Mental Health Hotline

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Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline... If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are codependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you. If ...

Revenge

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"Cash, check or charge?" the cashier asked after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As the woman fumbled for her wallet, the cashier noticed a remote control for a ...

Very Short Books

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21 Very Short Books 1) A Guide to Arab Democracies 2) A Journey through the Mind of Dennis Rodman 3) Amelia Earhart's Guide to the Pacific Ocean 4) Career ...

 

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