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4/1/2001
San Francisco's Golden Gate Bridge to officially become the TransAmerica
Bridge.
by contributing editor April Olfos
(SAN FRANCISCO-UPI) The city of San ...
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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work?
A stick.
What is a zebra?
26 sizes larger than an "A" bra.
What kind of coffee was served on the Titanic? Sanka.
...
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Maria is a devout Catholic: She gets married and has 17 children. Soon
after the last child is born her husband dies. A few weeks later she
remarries and over the following ...
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When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know...
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It may be hard to believe how times have
changed in the last 100 years.
"100 Years Ago"
The average life expectancy in the United States
was forty-seven.
Only 14 ...
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Gives the words "bad day" a whole new perspective...
Brian is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers out of
Louisiana and performs underwater repairs on offshore ...
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The executive was interviewing a young blonde for a position in his
company. He wanted to find out something about her personality so he asked,
"If you could have a ...
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For those who are unfamiliar with the Darwin Award, it is given to those
who prove by their actions that Darwin was right... People that stupid
don't survive long enought to ...
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Yes, but it's common knowledge that Bill forfeited his soul to Satan
to get where he is today.
Well, that's the short story. Bill actually forfeited his soul simply
for the ...
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A team of archaeologists was excavating in Israel when they came upon a cave. Written on the wall of the cave were the following symbols in order of appearance.
1. A dog
2. A ...
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TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM - You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the
income.
AN AMERICAN ...
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Today is International Disadvantaged People's Day. Please send an encouraging message to a retarded friend,just as I've done. I don't care if you lick ...
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Here's a one-question IQ Test to help you decide how you should spend the rest of your day ... There is a mute who wants to buy a toothbrush. By imitating the action of ...
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A monkey is sitting in a tree, smoking a joint, when a lizard walks past. The lizard looks up and says to the monkey "Hey! what are you doing?" The monkey says "Smoking a joint, ...
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In pharmacology, all drugs have two names; a trade name and a generic name.For example, the trade name of Tylenol has a generic name of acetaminophen. Aleve is also called ...
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Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at an Elingsh uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht
oredr the ltteers in a word are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is that the frist
and lsat ltteer is at ...
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The World Health Organization (WHO) has just issued an urgent warning about
BARS (Beer Alcohol Requirement Syndrome). A newly identified problem has
spread rapidly throughout ...
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At Heathrow Airport today, an individual, later
discovered to be a public school teacher, was
arrested trying to board a flight while in possession
of a compass, a ...
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1. How Do You Catch a Unique Rabbit?
Unique Up On It
2. How Do You Catch a Tame Rabbit?
Tame Way, Unique Up On It
3. How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest?
...
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A gastroenterologist/proctologist claims that these are actual comments made
by his patients made while he was performing colonoscopies:
1. "Take it easy, Doc, you're boldly ...
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Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.
Practice safe eating - always use condiments.
Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.
A man needs a mistress just to break the ...
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Divorcing After 45 Years An elderly man in Phoenix
calls his son in New York and says, "I hate to ruin
your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and
I are divorcing; ...
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I am a teapot
Here is handle, here is spout
I am a teapot
Mary had a lamb
Followed her to school one day
Children laughed and played
There were three blind ...
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A guy walks into a doctor's office and stutters, "Da-da-doc, I've ba-ba-been sta-sta-stuttering for ye-ye-years, and I ca-ca-can't stand it anymo-mo-more! Can you he-he-help me?" ...
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