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Klingon software development team

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Top 10 things likely to be overheard if you had a Klingon on your software development team: 10) Behold, the keyboard of Kaylis! The greatest Klingon code warrior that ever ...

A dictionary for software engineers

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A dictionary for software engineers: Alpha: Software undergoes alpha testing as a first step in getting user feedback. Alpha is Latin for "doesn't work." Beta: Software ...

Larry Walters, Lawn Chair Pilot

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Larry Walters is among the relatively few who have actually turned their dreams into reality. His story is true, though you may find it hard to believe.  Larry was a truck ...

Andy Rooney

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from Andy Rooney  On Ads In Bills:  Have you ever noticed that they put advertisements in with your bills now? Like bills aren't distasteful enough, they have to stuff junk ...

Are you a prostitute or a software consultant...

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Are you a prostitute or a software consultant… 1. You work very odd hours. 2. You are paid a lot of money to keep your client happy. 3. You are paid well

Cowboys

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Two cowboys were leanin up against the rail at their favorite bar. They're tired and worn out from a long day, havin a couple of longnecks, just relaxin and talkin, watchin ...

Stupid Horse

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A bunch of Indians capture a cowboy and bring him back to their camp to meet the chief. The chief says to the cowboy, "You going to die. But we sorry for you, so give you one wish ...

Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road

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Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road? PAT BUCHANAN: To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American. LOUIS FARRAKHAN: The road, you will see, represents the black ...

Anger Management

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When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know...

Middle East Update

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A reporter goes to Israel to cover the fighting. She is looking for something emotional and positive and of human interest. Something like that guy in Sarajevo who risked his ...

Old Age

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A little old man shuffled slowly... into an ice cream parlor. He pulled himself slowly... painfully... up onto a stool... After catching his breath... he ordered a ...

Before it starts...

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A man came home from work, sat down in his favorite chair, turned on the TV, and said to his wife, "Quick, bring me a beer before it starts." She looked a little puzzled, but ...

Short Cowboy

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There was a midget (little person) down in Texas whose testicles ached almost all the time. The midget went to the doctor and told him what the problem was. The doctor told ...

Nice Sweater

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CDW is currently running a contest to find the best IT story. They have narrowed the field down to 14 finalists. This one is my personal favorite. (The rest are online at

Quick Thinking

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A man walked into the produce section of his local supermarket and asked to buy half a head of lettuce. The boy working in that department told him that they only sold whole ...

Staff meeting in Heaven

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During a recent staff meeting in Heaven, God, Moses, and Saint Peter concluded that the behavior of President Clinton and Rep. Condit had brought about the need for an eleventh ...

No arms and no legs

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A man with no arms and no legs is out lying on the beach one day, enjoying his chance to get some sun. All of a sudden, a beautiful woman walks by and stops. "You poor man," ...

T-shirt Slogans

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1. "Frankly, Scallop, I Don't Give a Clam." (seen on Cape Cod) 2. "That's It! I'm Calling Grandma!" (seen on an 8 year old) 3. "Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to ...

Buddy learns a new trick...

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Ya know, just make up your own joke here...
buddy

One Liners 2

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If you're a kleptomanic, take something for it. I hope I die quietly in my sleep like my grandfather, not screaming in horror like his passengers. "Very funny, Scotty. Now ...

Riddle

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Here's a Riddle for You: Arnold Schwarzenegger has a big one. Michael J. Fox has a small one. Madonna doesn't have one. The Pope has one but doesn't use it. The ...

The talking parrot..

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A woman was thinking about finding a pet to help keep her company at home. She decided she would like to find a beautiful parrot; it wouldn't be as much work as say a dog, and it ...

Thoughts

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FUN THOUGHTS 1. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it. 2. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity. 3. I doubt, therefore I might be. 4. ...

Golf 3

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Moses, Jesus, and another guy were out playing golf in Heaven one day. Moses pulled up to the tee and drove a long one. It landed in the fairway but rolled directly toward a ...

 

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