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Every year, English teachers from across the country can submit their collections of actual similes and metaphors found in high school essays. These excerpts are published each ...
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Mrs. Ashley telephoned the headquarters of the infantry near Great Oaks, her
ancestral home. "This is Mrs. Chauncey
Ashley the Third, and with Thanksgiving coming up, I thought ...
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HOW TO GIVE A CAT A PILL
1. Pick cat up and cradle gently in the crook of your left arm as if
holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of
cat's ...
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30 Things Never to Say to a Naked Man
1. I've smoked fatter joints than that.
2. Ahhhh, it's cute.
3. Why don't we just cuddle?
4. You know they have surgery to fix ...
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A woman and a man are involved in a car accident; it's a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them are hurt. After they crawl out of their ...
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Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there for a number of years when he came home one day to confess to his wife that he had a terrible compulsion. He had an urge ...
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TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM - You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the
income.
AN AMERICAN ...
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Here's a one-question IQ Test to help you decide how you should spend the rest of your day ... There is a mute who wants to buy a toothbrush. By imitating the action of ...
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Abort, Retry, Ignore?
by: Anonymous Works
Once upon a midnight dreary, fingers cramped and vision bleary,
System manuals piled high and wasted paper on the floor,
...
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A blonde is going on her first trip overseas. She drives all the way to
Miami to apply for a passport. In the passport office, the government
official sees that she is visibly ...
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1. Ahhh... I see the f_ck-up fairy has visited us again...
2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
3. How about never? Is never good for ...
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Who originally said...
"My greatest wish is that none of my children become lawyers."
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If Only Life Could Be Like A Computer...
If you messed up your life, you could press "Ctrl, Alt, Delete" and
start all over!
To get your daily exercise, just click on ...
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There once was a successful rancher who died and left everything to his
devoted wife. She was determined to keep the ranch and make a go of it
but she knew very little about ...
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Bill Clinton, Bill Gates, and Al Gore were in an airplane that crashed. They're up in heaven, and God's sitting on the great white throne.
God addressed Al first. "Al, what do ...
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Some Things You Probably Didn't Learn In School Or College:
The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time television
were Fred and Wilma Flintstone.
Coca Cola ...
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A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She
started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks you're stupid, stand up!"
After a few seconds, Little ...
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38 Reason's Why It's Great To Be A Woman
1.Free drinks.
2.Free dinners.
3.Free movies (you get the point).
4.You can hug your friend without wondering if she ...
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Did you know that Bill Clinton is considering changing the Democratic seal
from a donkey to a condom, because it represents inflation, halts
production, and gives you a false ...
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API - Time Magazine reports an interesting case of high-tech graffiti. It
seems that a couple of Intel engineers working on the design of a recent
version of the Pentium ...
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A young man walks up and sits down at the bar.
"What can I get you?" the bartender inquires.
"I want 6 shots of Jagermeister," responded the young man.
"6 shots?!? Are you ...
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S C I E N T I S T S D I S C O V E R N E W E L E M E N T
The heaviest element known to science was recently discovered by university
physicists. The element, ...
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A fellow who absolutely hated his wife's cat decided to get rid of him one day while his wife was gone. He drove the cat 20 blocks from his home and left him in a nice park. As he ...
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