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TOP 10 OLD FOLKS' PARTY GAMES
1. Sag - You're It!
2. Pin the Toupee on the Bald Guy
3. 20 Questions Shouted into your Good Ear
4. Kick the Bucket
5. Red Rover, Red ...
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Merry Christmas From Mom
Dear Darling Son and That Person You Married,
Merry Christmas to you, and please don't worry. I'm just fine considering I
can't breathe or eat. The ...
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A very modest lady applied for a job at the factory where they made "Tickle
me Elmo dolls". It was Friday and almost quitting time and hurriedly the
boss told her to report for ...
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PCMCIA People Can't Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms
ISDN It Still Does Nothing
APPLE Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity
SCSI System Can't See It
...
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Santa was very cross. It was Christmas Eve and NOTHING was going right.
Mrs. Claus had burned all the cookies. The elves were complaining about not getting paid for the overtime ...
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20 Ways To Confuse Santa Claus
Instead of milk and cookies, leave him a salad, and a note explaining that you think he could stand to lose a few pounds.
While he's in the ...
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WILL HE JUMP?
A blonde and brunette were watching the 6 o'clock news. The news was
about a man about ready to jump off a bridge. The brunette turns to the
blonde and says " ...
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Star Trek TNG Meets Microsoft
Picard: Mr. LaForge, have you had any success with your
attempts at finding a weakness in the Borg? And
Mr. Data, have you been able to access ...
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A High School English Teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. She tells the class that there would be no excuse for not showing up, except for a serious injury or ...
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If only it were this easy...
Bush and Osama decided to settle the war once and for all. They sat down
and decided to settle the whole dispute with one dog fight. They would ...
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Ya know, just make up your own joke here...
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They always ask at the doctor's office why you are there, and you have to answer in front of others what's wrong and sometimes it is embarrassing. There's nothing worse ...
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A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a sheriff's deputy in Opp , Alabama . He thinks that he is smarter than the deputy because he is a lawyer from New ...
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Every year, English teachers from across the country can submit their collections of actual similes and metaphors found in high school essays. These excerpts are published each ...
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My husband came home with a tube of KY jelly and said, "This will make you
happy tonight." He was right. When he went out of the bedroom, I squirted it
all over the doorknobs. ...
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"After the lights were on and I saw a butt naked guy on my table I thought,
'Wow, this is weirder than I thought.' "
- unidentified homeowner in Muncie, Indiana, after ...
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The following pseudo-mathematical proof was posted to rec.games.board:
What about this:
We know that women like two things, your time and your money,
therefore...
women ...
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You know you are from Michigan when:
- You own only three spices - salt, pepper and ketchup
- You design your Halloween costumes to fit over a snowsuit
- You have more ...
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TOP TWENTY REASONS WHY CHOCOLATE IS BETTER THAN SEX:
1) You can GET chocolate.
2) "If you love me you'll swallow that" has real meaning with chocolate.
3) Chocolate ...
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A man asks his wife the following questions after a long discussion
about her life if he were to die before her.
Husband: "Honey, if I were to die before you, would you ...
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Drinking on the Job
While most companies refrain from allowing consumption of alcohol on the
premises, there are some good arguments for changing that policy.
Reasons for ...
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An Interesting Discovery. Lawrence Livermore Laboratories has discovered the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (symbol=Gv), has one ...
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On a recent transatlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning. One woman in ...
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When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know...
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