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Michael Jackson describes his September 11th experience in the March issue of Vibe... "I was in New York (after performing at Madison Square Garden on Sept. 7 and 10), and I got ...
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When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know...
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How to settle the 2000 Presidential Election:
Ok, Folks. I've given the people in Florida plenty of time to get this
election finished. Now It is my turn:
#1: Al Gore ...
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Tips for Northerners moving South
1. Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later how
to use it.
2. If you forget a Southerner's name, refer to him (or ...
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A man is stumbling through the woods totally drunk when he comes upon a preacher baptizing people in the river. He proceeds to walk into the water and subsequently bumps into the ...
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Have you ever wondered where the phrase "You gotta be sh*ttin' me" came from? Well, it just so happens to have originated through the Father of the USA.
Way back, George ...
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New Rule: Stop the pop-up ads for Classmates.com ! There's a reason you don't talk to people for 25 years. Because you don't particularly like them! Besides, I ...
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A man and his wife are awakened at 3 o'clock in the morning by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the ...
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A 6-year-old and a 4-year-old are upstairs in their bedroom. "You know
what?" says the 6-year-old. "I think it's about time we start cussing." The
4-year-old nods his head in ...
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1. Ahhh... I see the f_ck-up fairy has visited us again...
2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
3. How about never? Is never good for ...
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Sipping Vodka
A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly
speak. After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done. The
monsignor replied,"When I am ...
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A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One
of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral
procession on the road next ...
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1. A right lane construction closure is just a game to see how many people
can cut in line by passing you on the right as you sit in the left
lane waiting for the same jerks to ...
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1. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
2. Movie nudity is virtually always female.
3. You know stuff about cars.
4. A five day vacation requires only one ...
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A Sunday School teacher of preschoolers was concerned that his students
might be a little confused about Jesus Christ because of the Christmas
season emphasis on His birth.
...
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You find out interesting things when you have sons, like... 1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep. 2.) If you spray ...
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The New Pope Ratzinger was not the first choice for Pope. As I understand it, Ratzinger was not the Cardinals first choice. Interestingly, they were considering Cardinal Hans ...
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My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year when we decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way, and my friends encouraged me. My girlfriend? She was a ...
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Here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the
truth after all those conflicting medical studies.
1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer ...
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When you're hospitalized, it pays to be nice to your
nurse, even when you're feeling miserable. A bossy
businessman learned this the hard way after ordering
his nurses around ...
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Friday January 26 12:27 PM ET
Police Not Amused by Breakfast Prank
DALLAS (Reuters) - A police dispatcher who tasted something funny when
she bit into a breakfast tortilla ...
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A man with no arms and no legs is out lying on the beach one day,
enjoying his chance to get some sun. All of a sudden, a beautiful woman
walks by and stops. "You poor man," ...
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1. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a Train
stops. On my desk, I have a work station...
2. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed ...
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