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10 WORDS THAT DON'T EXIST, BUT SHOULD:
1. AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks' trus) adj. Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub faucet on and off with your toes.
2. CARPERPETUATION ...
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It may be hard to believe how times have
changed in the last 100 years.
"100 Years Ago"
The average life expectancy in the United States
was forty-seven.
Only 14 ...
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The following pseudo-mathematical proof was posted to rec.games.board:
What about this:
We know that women like two things, your time and your money,
therefore...
women ...
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Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.
John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.
Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.
John F. Kennedy was ...
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TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM - You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the
income.
AN AMERICAN ...
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NOTICE FROM CARNIVAL CRUISE LINES:
Afghanistan Cruise
We at Carnival Cruise Lines didn't forget that a lot of entertainers had promised to leave the country if George W.Bush ...
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Apple Computer announced today that it has developed a computer chip that can store and play high fidelity music in women's breast implants. The i-Tit will cost $499 or $599 ...
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A revised version of the default Windows startup sound…
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One day a young cowboy and cowgirl decided to get married. He was a man
of the world. She was an innocent bride with no experience. After the wedding
they left for their ...
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When you take a long time, you're slow.
When your boss takes a long time, he's thorough.
When you don't do it, you're lazy.
When your boss doesn't do it, he's too busy. ...
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Toward the end of our senior year in high school, we were required to take
a CPR course. The classes used the well known mannequin victim,
Resusci-Annie, to practice. Typical ...
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"Rudolph the Reindeer with an Inner Ear Infection" "Away in a Drunk Tank" "Here We Come A-Wassailing, Whatever the Hell That Means" "It's Beginning to Look a Lot Infected" ...
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Peter Davies was on holiday in Kenya, after graduating from Northwestern University, same place my dad went to school. On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull ...
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Fathers Pietro and George are in a Vatican bathroom using the urinals. Father Pietro looks at the other priest's equipment and notices there's a Nicoderm patch on the ...
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On a recent transatlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning. One woman in ...
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But aren't . . . I think your balls are hanging too low. To get it to stand up straight, try propping it against the wall. Santa's sack is really bulging! Did you get ...
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Don't really know much about this clip. But the dog's name is Tyson. And he's very cool.
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Q. What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
A. Slow down and use a lubricant.
Q. What's six inches long, two inches wide, and drives women wild?
A. Money
...
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A blonde goes into a restaurant and notices there's a "peel and win"
sticker on her coffee cup. So she peels it off and starts screaming,
"I've won a motorhome! I've won a ...
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LITTLE JOHNNY ON... PHILOSOPHY:
A Teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?"
He replies, "None, they ...
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When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know...
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A man and his wife are awakened at 3 o'clock in the morning by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the ...
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NUDITY
I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling ...
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Disco Dog Dancing at its finest…
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