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Capitalism and Cows

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TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM - You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income. AN AMERICAN ...

Skateboarding Dog

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Don't really know much about this clip. But the dog's name is Tyson. And he's very cool.

100 fun ways to order pizza

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100 FUN WAYS TO PHONE IN A PIZZA ORDER 1. If using a touch-tone, press random numbers while ordering. Ask the person taking the order to stop doing that. 2. Make up a ...

Abe and John - Weird

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Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846. John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946. Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860. John F. Kennedy was ...

Anger Management

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When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know...

20 reasons why chocolate is better than sex

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TOP TWENTY REASONS WHY CHOCOLATE IS BETTER THAN SEX: 1) You can GET chocolate. 2) "If you love me you'll swallow that" has real meaning with chocolate. 3) Chocolate ...

Nickel

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There's a little fellow named Junior who hangs out at Alley's Grocery Store. I don't know what Junior's problem is, but the boys like to tease him. They say he is two bricks ...

Why cats don't like tequila

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Too much time, and tequila, and too many limes...
lime kitty

Generic name for Viagra

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In pharmacology, all drugs have two names; a trade name and a generic name.For example, the trade name of Tylenol has a generic name of acetaminophen. Aleve is also called ...

Had a bad day

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Just in case you've had a rough day, here's a stress management technique. Recommended in all the latest psychological texts. The funny thing is that it really works... 1. ...

New Foreign Phrases

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Winners of a New York Magazine contest who were asked to take a well known expression in a foreign language, change a single letter and provide a definition for the new ...

Anagrams

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An Anagram, as you all know, is a word or phrase made by transposing or rearranging the letters of another word or phrase. The following are exceptionally clever. Someone out ...

20 thinnest books

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The top 20 thinnest books 20. HOW TO LAND A PLANE AT MARTHA'S VINEYARD - by JFK, Jr. 19. HOW TO PLEASE WOMEN - by John Bobbit 18. MY PLAN TO FIND THE REAL KILLERS-by O. ...

When God created man...

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FINALLY... THE TRUE STORY... One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to God, "Lord, I have a problem!" "What's the problem, Eve?" "Lord, I know you've created me ...

Clinton's New Dog

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As most of you already know, former President Clinton's dog Buddy was killed when he ran out in front of an automobile. A nationwide search is underway to find a replacement for ...

Comparing Stories

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Two women are new arrivals at the pearly gates, and are comparing stories on how they had died. "I froze to death," said the first woman. "You froze to death, how horrible!" ...

Justice in the Middle East

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A Dutchman, an Australian, and a New Zealander are in Saudi Arabia, sharing a smuggled crate of booze when Saudi police rush in and arrest them. The mere possession of alcohol ...

Bill of Rights

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Bill of Rights restated State Representative Mitchell Kaye of Georgia wrote the following: We, the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to help everyone get ...

Douglas Adams Quotes

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Douglas Adams Quotes... Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job. In the beginning the Universe was ...

Steve Allen

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Steve Allen, Renaissance Man: ...describing Allen as a comedian is like describing Leonardo da Vinci as a "painter." Like Leonardo, Alien is a Renaissance man. Besides being ...

Pants

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A young couple, just married, was in their honeymoon suite on their wedding night. As they were undressing for bed, the husband who was a big burly man tossed his pants to his ...

New laws regarding hunting of laywers...

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California Statutes Bill to Regulate the Hunting and Harvesting of Attorneys PC 370.00 370.01 Any person with a valid in-state rodent or snake hunting license may also ...

SIGNS OF OUR TIME

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YOU'RE PROBABLY AGE 25-35 IF... You wore anything Izod, especially those windbreakers that folded up into a pouch you could wear around your waist. You owned a Jordache ...

10 Ways to Terrorize a Telemarketer

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10. When they ask "How are you today?" Tell them! "I'm so glad you asked because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems; my arthritis is acting up, my ...

 

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