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Comprehending Engineers

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Some of you have voiced that Engineers are a different breed....Perhaps the following will help you understand us..... Comprehending Engineers - Take One Two engineering ...

Boat Owners

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A recent survey of boat owners revealed that only 13% of them would go overboard to save their spouse. However 25% would go overboard to save their hat.

Dear Abby Letter from 'Moody' Lady

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Dear Abby: My husband is not happy with my mood swings. The other day, he bought me a mood ring so he would be able to monitor my moods. When I'm in a good mood it turns ...

Hell

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A young man from Tampa dies, and, unfortunately, goes to Hell. As usual, he's assigned to work in the sulfur pits. Lucifer comes by on a tour one day, and he sees the boy ...

Nick the Dragon Slayer

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Nick the Dragon Slayer was an official in King Arthur's court. He had a long-standing obsession with nuzzling the beautiful Queen's voluptuous breasts, but he knew the penalty ...

Good news on proper dieting

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Here is some good news on proper dieting... Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true? A: Your heart is only good for so many beats and ...

The Cowhand

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There once was a successful rancher who died and left everything to his devoted wife. She was determined to keep the ranch and make a go of it but she knew very little about ...

Calling in Sick

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Calling in Sick Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable because no matter how legitimate my illness, I always sense my boss thinks I am lying. On one occasion I had a ...

FANTASY ISLAND

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Fantasy Island A ship goes out to sea and sinks in a storm. Six people (5 men and 1 woman) survive by using a raft to float to a deserted island. After spending several ...

Custer

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An eccentric billionaire wanted a mural painted on his library wall. He called in an artist. Describing what he wanted, the billionaire said, "I am a history buff, and I would ...

A pious man...

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A pious man, who had reached the age of 105, suddenly stopped going to synagogue. Alarmed by the old fellow's absence after so many years of faithful attendance, the Rabbi went to ...

Lipstick at School

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According to a news report, a certain private school in Washington recently was faced with a unique problem. A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and ...

Farmer's donkey fell down a well (updated ending)

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One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally he decided the animal was old, and ...

Top ten things only women understand

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TOP TEN THINGS ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND 10. Cats' facial expressions 9. The need for the same style of shoes in different colors 8. Why bean sprouts aren't just weeds 7. ...

Everything I Know I Learned In Corporate America

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Everything I Know I Learned In Corporate America 1. Indecision is the key to flexibility. 2. You can't tell which way the train went by looking at the track. 3. There is ...

Differences Between You and Your Boss

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When you take a long time, you're slow. When your boss takes a long time, he's thorough. When you don't do it, you're lazy. When your boss doesn't do it, he's too busy. ...

The Temperature of Hell

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TEMPERATURE OF HELL This is forwarded from a graduate of the University of Oklahoma School of Chemical Engineering Dept. Citing one of Dr. Schlambaugh's final test questions ...

Final Exam - No Excuses

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A High School English Teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. She tells the class that there would be no excuse for not showing up, except for a serious injury or ...

GREAT TRUTHS

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GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED 1. Raising teenagers is like nailing JELLO to a tree. 2. There is always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look ...

If Microsoft build cars

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How would our lifes be different if Microsoft built cars? 1. We'd all have to switch to Microsoft gas. 2. You would constantly be pressured to upgrade your car. 3. You ...

New Element Discovered

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An Interesting Discovery. Lawrence Livermore Laboratories has discovered the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium  (symbol=Gv), has one ...

Dog Dancing

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Disco Dog Dancing at its finest…

48 phrases we wish we could say at work

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1. Ahhh... I see the f_ck-up fairy has visited us again... 2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce. 3. How about never? Is never good for ...

Presidential Quotes

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What US president once said "It is a good thing I am not a woman, as I would always be pregnant, for I cannot say no"

 

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