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Viewed 8 times
# 8
A young man walks up and sits down at the bar.
"What can I get you?" the bartender inquires.
"I want 6 shots of Jagermeister," responded the young man.
"6 shots?!? ...
Viewed 7 times
When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered
that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem,
NASA scientists spent a decade ...
Viewed 6 times
A guy stuck his head into a barber shop and asked, "How long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looked around the shop full of customers and said, "About 2 hours." The guy ...
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Who said "A sewer worker is like a brain surgeon. We're both specialists."
Viewed 6 times
What a difference 30 years makes:
1972: Long hair
2002: Longing for hair
1972: The perfect high
2002: The perfect high yield mutual fund
1972: KEG
2002: EKG
...
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GOOD:
A policeman had a perfect spot to watch for speeders, but
wasn't getting many. Then he discovered the problem - a 10-year-old boy
was standing up the road with a hand ...
Viewed 6 times
1. The later you are, the more excited they are to see you.
2. Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs.
3. If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don't hate it.
...
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A Mississippi woodpecker and a Texas woodpecker were in Mississippi
arguing about which state had the toughest trees to peck.
The Mississippi woodpecker said that they had a ...
Viewed 6 times
The police academy instructor was conducting an in-class survey,
questioning three blonde female officers who were training to become
detectives. To test their skills in ...
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George W. Bush quotes:
"Drug therapies are replacing a lot of medicines as we used to know it."
"It's one thing about insurance, that's a Washington term."
"I think we ...
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As a service for those subscribers who didn't have time to watch the
presidential debate
last night, we have prepared this transcript of what was actually
said...
Jim ...
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"Rules of the Road"
Stuff they didn't teach you in Drivers Ed...
If, at any time, you have witnessed a green light, it is okay to proceed through the intersection, ...
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PCMCIA People Can't Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms
ISDN It Still Does Nothing
APPLE Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity
SCSI System Can't See It
...
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TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM - You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the
income.
AN AMERICAN ...
Viewed 5 times
I was riding to work yesterday when I observed a female driver cut right in
front of a pickup truck causing him to have to drive on to the shoulder to
avoid hitting her. This ...
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Tom Clancy: "I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural,
wholesome things that money can buy."
Steve Martin: "You know 'that look' women get when they want sex? ...
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A very attractive woman goes up to the bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who immediatley comes over to her. When he arrives, she seductively ...
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'Hi, Jack' on plane triggers SWAT team by Shawn D. Lewis / The Detroit News ( http://detnews.com/ ) Waterford - Pilots named Jack, beware. Minutes after a boarding ...
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Here are some quotes from Hollywood Squares Game Show in the 70's, when
game show's responses were spontaneous and not scripted like they are
now. God bless Paul Lynde, Rose ...
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A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat. She asked if it was dead or alive.
"Dead," she was informed. "How do you know?", she asked. "Because I pissed in his
ear ...
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Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline...
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are codependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If ...
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In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. And the earth
was void, without form, and darkness was upon the face of the deep.
And Satan said, "It doesn't get any ...
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How to settle the 2000 Presidential Election:
Ok, Folks. I've given the people in Florida plenty of time to get this
election finished. Now It is my turn:
#1: Al Gore ...
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The bartender was washing his glasses, when an elderly Irishman came in. With great difficulty, the Irishman hoisted his bad leg over the barstool, pulled himself up painfully, and ...
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