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I suppose this explains why he's always so jolly...
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A tourist walks into a pet shop in Silicon Valley, and is browsing round the cages on display. While he's there, another customer walks in and says to the shopkeeper, "I'll have a ...
Viewed 7 times
According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game,
while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the
summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the ...
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Sex sandals This married couple was on holiday in India. They were touring around the marketplace looking at the goods and such, when they passed this sandal shop. From ...
Viewed 5 times
A little boy got on the bus, sat next to a man reading a book, and noticed he had his collar on backwards. Curious, the boy asked why he wore his collar that way.
The man, who ...
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According to today's regulators and bureaucrats, those of us
who were kids in the 40's, 50's, 60's, 70's probably shouldn't have
survived.
Our baby cribs were covered with ...
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A lady walks into the drug store and asks the druggist
for some arsenic.
The druggist asks "Ma'am, what do you want with
arsenic?"
The lady say's "To kill my husband."
...
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Two Scottish nuns have just arrived in USA by boat and one says to
the other, "I hear that the people of this country actually eat dogs.
"Odd," her companion replies, "but if ...
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THINGS YOU WOULD NEVER KNOW WITHOUT THE MOVIES
- During all police investigations it will be necessary to visit a
strip club at least once.
- All telephone numbers in ...
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TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM - You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the
income.
AN AMERICAN ...
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- Gifts for Children -
This is easy. You never have to figure out what to get for children, because they will tell you exactly what they want. They spend months and months ...
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There are two major products that come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX.
We don't believe this to be a coincidence.
- Anderson, Jeremy S.
If you put a billion monkeys in ...
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On a recent transatlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning. One woman in ...
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One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very sexy nightie. "Tie me up," she purred, "and you can do anything you want." So he tied her up and went ...
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Here's a one-question IQ Test to help you decide how you should spend the rest of your day ... There is a mute who wants to buy a toothbrush. By imitating the action of ...
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ABBOTT: Fry's Electronics. Can I help you?
COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up a home office in the den, and I'm thinking of buying a computer.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: No, the ...
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Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at an Elingsh uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht
oredr the ltteers in a word are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is that the frist
and lsat ltteer is at ...
Viewed 4 times
GOOD:
A policeman had a perfect spot to watch for speeders, but
wasn't getting many. Then he discovered the problem - a 10-year-old boy
was standing up the road with a hand ...
Viewed 4 times
When you're hospitalized, it pays to be nice to your
nurse, even when you're feeling miserable. A bossy
businessman learned this the hard way after ordering
his nurses around ...
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"A cageful of drunken monkeys is like a cocktail party."
- Frank Ervin, a professor of psychiatry at McGill University, who is
currently studying what happens when you liquor ...
Viewed 4 times
There was this couple that had been married for 20 years.
Every time they made love the husband always insisted on
shutting off the lights.
Well, after 20 years the wife ...
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Q What's a mixed feeling?
A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.
Q. What's the height of conceit?
A. Having an orgasm and calling out ...
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Judy, the editor of trivia publication, was having trouble with her computer.
So she called Dave, the computer guy, over to her desk. Dave clicked a
couple of buttons and ...
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