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Anger Management

Viewed 14 times
When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know...

Final Exam - No Excuses

Viewed 12 times
A High School English Teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. She tells the class that there would be no excuse for not showing up, except for a serious injury or ...

MacGregor the Fence Builder

Viewed 11 times
A Scottish old-timer in Scotland, in a bar, says to a young man, "Lad, look out there to the field. Do ya see that fence? Look how well it's built. I built that fence stone by ...

Capitalism and Cows

Viewed 10 times
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM - You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income. AN AMERICAN ...

Advice For Our Armed Forces

Viewed 9 times
If the enemy is in range, so are you. Incoming fire has the right of way. Don't look conspicuous, it draws fire. There is always a way. The easy way is always mined. ...

Rooster

Viewed 9 times
A farmer wanted to have his hens serviced, so he went to the market looking for a rooster. He was hoping he could get a special rooster - one that could service all of his many hens ...

Forest Gump goes to Heaven

Viewed 9 times
Heavenly Entrance Exam The day finally arrived: Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven. He is met at the Pearly Gates by Saint Peter himself. The gates are closed, however, ...

For the Golf fans out there.

Viewed 9 times
Jesus joined a threesome on the first hole. The drive had to be hit over two small lakes to reach a green surrounded by sandtraps. Jesus said "OK, I'll do this one. If Palmer ...

Thanksgiving Dinner

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Thanksgiving Dinner Martha Stewart will not be dining with us this Thanksgiving. I'm telling you in advance, so don't act surprised. Since Ms. Stewart won't be coming, I've ...

Wal-Mart Wine

Viewed 8 times
PLANT CITY, FL - Some Wal-Mart customers soon will be able to sample a new discount item - Wal-Mart's own brand of wine. The world's largest retail chain is teaming up with E&J ...

Old Sex

Viewed 8 times
An elderly couple is enjoying an anniversary dinner together in a small tavern. The husband leans over and asks his wife, "Do you remember the first time we had sex together ...

Barbie's letter to Santa

Viewed 8 times
Dear Santa:  Listen you fat little troll, I've been helping you out every year, playing at being the perfect Christmas present, wearing skimpy bathing suits in frigid ...

Giving up wine

Viewed 7 times
I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner. I took out my wallet, ...

Haircut

Viewed 7 times
A guy stuck his head into a barber shop and asked, "How long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looked around the shop full of customers and said, "About 2 hours." The guy ...

Ralph and Edna

Viewed 7 times
Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the ...

Cow Watch - 2002 (Update 2-26-2002)

Viewed 7 times
Fugitive Cow Finally Captured The bovine escapee who eluded Cincinnati's finest for 12 days is finally behind bars tonight. It took the SPCA, three decoy cows, and two shots ...

The Best Chain Letter a Woman Will Ever Get

Viewed 7 times
The Best Chain Letter a Woman Will Ever Get This chain letter started in the hopes of bringing relief and happiness to tired housewives. It has, however, expanded its usefulness ...

Engineers

Viewed 7 times
Two engineers were standing in the park. One had a new bike. The other said, "Nice bike. How much?" The first said, "It was free." The other asked, "Wow, how did you get it for ...

Boy Scout Camp

Viewed 6 times
Dear Mom & Dad, Our Scoutmaster told us to write to our parents in case you saw the flood on TV and are worried. We are okay. Only one of our tents and 2 Sleeping bags got ...

Quote of the week 7

Viewed 6 times
"But we're not homophobic... we are compassionate towards anyone who wants to try and give up that kind of lifestyle." - The Rev Dr. Glenn Davies, rector of St Luke's, Sydney, ...

Quote of the week 8

Viewed 6 times
Quote of the week "I think he's got quite the balls to open up a store nude.'' - Toronto city councilor George Mammoliti, referring to store owner Malcolm Scott's practice ...

Ponderables

Viewed 6 times
... THINGS ON WHICH TO PONDER: * Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand. * Conscience is what hurts when everything else feels so good. * Talk is cheap because ...

Avoid Bran Muffins

Viewed 6 times
This 85 year old couple, having been married almost 60 years, had died in an accident. They had been in good health the last ten years mainly due to her interest in health ...

Three couples.

Viewed 6 times
Three couples, an elderly couple, a middle-aged couple and a young, newlywed couple wanted to join a church. The pastor said, "We have special requirements for new ...

 

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