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Boot Camp

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LETTER FROM A FARM KID, NOW AT SAN DIEGO MARINE CORPS RECRUIT DEPOT Dear Ma and Pa: I am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Marine Corps beats ...

100 Reasons It's better to be a Guy

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1. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. 2. Movie nudity is virtually always female. 3. You know stuff about cars. 4. A five day vacation requires only one ...

Useful Work Phrases

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How about never? Is never good for you? I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public. Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously and change ...

Santa

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santa

What I Want In a Man

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What I Want In a Man, Original List ... (at age 22) 1. Handsome 2. Charming 3. Financially Successful 4. A Caring Listener 5. Witty 6. In Good Shape ...

20 Useful Expressions for High-Stress Days

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20 Useful Expressions for High-Stress Days 1. Well, aren't we just a ray of f_cking sunshine? 2. Not the brightest crayon in the box now, are we? 3. A hard-on doesn't ...

Useful Tidbits

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Next time you find yourself running dry on interesting tidbits of conversational matter ... Most Middle Eastern countries recognize the following Islamic law: "After having ...

20 reasons why chocolate is better than sex

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TOP TWENTY REASONS WHY CHOCOLATE IS BETTER THAN SEX: 1) You can GET chocolate. 2) "If you love me you'll swallow that" has real meaning with chocolate. 3) Chocolate ...

Joke type thing

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All stessed out? Sometimes it helps to think of happy scenes. Maybe a pastoral field, a field with a babbling brook. You're there on a lovely summer's day......holding ...

The Druggist

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A lady walks into the drug store and asks the druggist for some arsenic. The druggist asks "Ma'am, what do you want with arsenic?" The lady say's "To kill my husband." ...

What are friends for...

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Circle Flies

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A farmer got pulled over by a state trooper for speeding, and the trooper started to lecture the farmer about his speed, and in general began to throw his weight around to try ...

20 thinnest books

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The top 20 thinnest books 20. HOW TO LAND A PLANE AT MARTHA'S VINEYARD - by JFK, Jr. 19. HOW TO PLEASE WOMEN - by John Bobbit 18. MY PLAN TO FIND THE REAL KILLERS-by O. ...

A GENERATION IN BETWEEN

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After all those jokes about from the Boomers, finally here is one for those folks in between. You're stuck between the Baby Boomers and Generations X'ers if... 1. You ...

Blonde inventions

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Top 10 Blond Inventions 1) The water-proof towel 2) Solar powered flashlight 3) Submarine screen door 4) A book on how to read 5) Inflatable dart board 6) A ...

Blonde Joke 16

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WILL HE JUMP? A blonde and brunette were watching the 6 o'clock news. The news was about a man about ready to jump off a bridge. The brunette turns to the blonde and says " ...

Capitalism and Cows

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TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM - You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income. AN AMERICAN ...

25 Ways To Tell You're Grown Up

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1.  Your Houseplants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them. 2.  Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question. 3.  You keep more food than beer in the ...

'Hi, Jack' on plane triggers SWAT team

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'Hi, Jack' on plane triggers SWAT team  by Shawn D. Lewis / The Detroit News ( http://detnews.com/ )  Waterford - Pilots named Jack, beware.  Minutes after a boarding ...

Probably a true story...

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Once upon a time the government had a vast scrap yard in the middle of a desert. Although it had no significant value, Congress said. "Someone may steal from it at night." ...

Little Johnny (misc)

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A traveling salesman rings the doorbell and 10-year-old Little Johnny answers, holding a beer and smoking a fat cigar. The salesman says, "Little boy, is your mother home?" ...

GREAT TRUTHS

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GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED 1. Raising teenagers is like nailing JELLO to a tree. 2. There is always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look ...

Top ten reasons God created Eve

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Top ten reasons God created Eve: 10. God worried that Adam would always be lost in the garden because men hate to ask for directions. 9. God knew that Adam would one day ...

10 Words That Don't Exist, But Should

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10 WORDS THAT DON'T EXIST, BUT SHOULD: 1. AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks' trus) adj. Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub faucet on and off with your toes. 2. CARPERPETUATION ...

 

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