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A woman was leaving a 7-11 with her morning coffee when she noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery. A long black hearse was followed by a second ...
Viewed 9 times
TOP 10 MARKETING SLOGANS FOR VIAGRA:
10. Viagra, The quicker dicker upper
9. Viagra, One-a-day, like iron
8. Viagra, When it absolutely, positively has to be there ...
Viewed 8 times
Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease your nose will begin to itch, or you'll have to pee. Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when ...
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A woman was out golfing one day when she hit her ball into the
woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in
a trap. The frog said to her, "If you release ...
Viewed 7 times
"Rudolph the Reindeer with an Inner Ear Infection" "Away in a Drunk Tank" "Here We Come A-Wassailing, Whatever the Hell That Means" "It's Beginning to Look a Lot Infected" ...
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These are entries to a Washington Post competition asking for a rhyme with
the most romantic first line but least romantic second line:
Love may be beautiful, love may be ...
Viewed 7 times
Two peanuts walked into a bar. One was a salted.
A jumper cable walks into a bar. The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."
A sandwich walks into a bar. ...
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Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's
genitals through his wallet. -Robin Williams
Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as ...
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Things NOT to say to the nice police officer:
I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.
Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
...
Viewed 7 times
The Amish and Elevators...
An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by
almost everything they saw, but especially two shiny, silver walls in the ...
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One of the best examples of how ridiculous government paperwork can be is
illustrated by a recent case in Louisiana. A company president was trying to
buy some land in ...
Viewed 6 times
A blonde and a brunette are both in an elevator. On the third floor a man gets on who's perfect: Italian suit, handsome, great build with a nice ...
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How Many Dogs/Cats Does It Take to Change a Light Bulb?
Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole
lives ahead of us, and you're inside ...
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In a trial, in a small SC town, a prosecuting attorney called his first
witness to the stand. She was sworn in, asked if she would tell the truth,
the whole truth and nothing ...
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WHAT IS A CAT ?
1) Cats do what they want
2) They rarely listen to you
3) They're totally unpredictable
4) They whine when they are not happy
5) When you want to ...
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YOU KNOW YOU'VE BEEN OUT OF COLLEGE TOO LONG WHEN....
* Your potted plants stay alive.
* Having sex in a twin sized bed is absurd.
* You keep more food than beer in the ...
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BATHROOM GRAFFITI:
"To some it's a six pack, to me it's a support group."
"The poor folks in Arkansas won't be celebrating Thanksgiving this year,
they sent their turkey to ...
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Two men are in a locker room. One notices the other has a cork in
his rectum. He says, "How'd you get a cork in you rectum?"
"I was walking along the beach and I tripped over ...
Viewed 5 times
The Pope is visiting DC and President Bush takes him out for an afternoon on
the Potomac... sailing on the pres. yacht, the Sequoia. They're admiring the
sights when, all of a ...
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A blonde walks into a pharmacy and asks the assistant for some rectum
deodorant. The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the woman they
don't sell rectum deodorant, and ...
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I suppose this explains why he's always so jolly...
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1. Your reason for not staying in touch with family is because they do not
have e-mail addresses.
2. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.
3. ...
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BLONDE ON THE SUN
A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian
said, "We were the first in space!" The American said, "We were the first on
the ...
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Virginity like bubble, one prick, all gone.
Man who run in front of car, get tired.
Man who run behind car, get exhausted.
Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.
...
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