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Computer Problems

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I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Rick the computer guy, to come over. Rick clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem. He gave me a bill for a minimum ...

Anger Management

Viewed 16 times
When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know...

New virus alert

Viewed 14 times
Just wanted to warn everyone there's a new virus -code name is "Work." If you receive "Work" from your colleagues, your boss, or any one else, do not touch "Work" under any ...

20 reasons why chocolate is better than sex

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TOP TWENTY REASONS WHY CHOCOLATE IS BETTER THAN SEX: 1) You can GET chocolate. 2) "If you love me you'll swallow that" has real meaning with chocolate. 3) Chocolate ...

10 Things you would NEVER hear a Southerner say

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10 Things you would NEVER hear a Southerner say: 10) "I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex" 9) Duct tape won't fix that 8) Come to think of it I'll have a Heiniken's ...

Star Trek TNG Meets Microsoft

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Star Trek TNG Meets Microsoft Picard: Mr. LaForge, have you had any success with your attempts at finding a weakness in the Borg? And Mr. Data, have you been able to access ...

Hearing problem

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Elmer, an 80 year-old stumbled into the doctor's office all excited and in a tither. "doc .. I've lost my hearing!" Elmer yelled. "let's examine the problem," the doc said. ...

An Elephant's Memory

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Peter Davies was on holiday in Kenya, after graduating from Northwestern University, same place my dad went to school. On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull ...

Interesting statistic from a DC Analyst in Training

Viewed 11 times
If you consider that there has been an average of 160,000 troops in the Iraq theater of operations during the last 22  months, and a total of 2112 deaths, that  gives a ...

The Druggist

Viewed 11 times
A lady walks into the drug store and asks the druggist for some arsenic. The druggist asks "Ma'am, what do you want with arsenic?" The lady say's "To kill my husband." ...

20 thinnest books

Viewed 11 times
The top 20 thinnest books 20. HOW TO LAND A PLANE AT MARTHA'S VINEYARD - by JFK, Jr. 19. HOW TO PLEASE WOMEN - by John Bobbit 18. MY PLAN TO FIND THE REAL KILLERS-by O. ...

Tales of the Non-Technology Inclined

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COMPUTER, POWER STRIP  I worked with an individual who plugged their power strip back into itself and for the life of them could not ...

20 Ways To Confuse Santa Claus

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20 Ways To Confuse Santa Claus Instead of milk and cookies, leave him a salad, and a note explaining that you think he could stand to lose a few pounds. While he's in the ...

Dog Dancing

Viewed 10 times
Disco Dog Dancing at its finest…

Community Service

Viewed 10 times
One day a florist goes for a haircut. After the cut, he goes to pay the barber and the barber replies: "I am sorry. I cannot accept money from you, I am doing community service." ...

48 phrases we wish we could say at work

Viewed 10 times
1. Ahhh... I see the f_ck-up fairy has visited us again... 2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce. 3. How about never? Is never good for ...

100 fun ways to order pizza

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100 FUN WAYS TO PHONE IN A PIZZA ORDER 1. If using a touch-tone, press random numbers while ordering. Ask the person taking the order to stop doing that. 2. Make up a ...

Capitalism and Cows

Viewed 10 times
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM - You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income. AN AMERICAN ...

A Redneck Christmas

Viewed 10 times

New Element Discovered

Viewed 9 times
An Interesting Discovery. Lawrence Livermore Laboratories has discovered the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium  (symbol=Gv), has one ...

Things that sound dirty at Christmas...

Viewed 9 times
But aren't . . . I think your balls are hanging too low. To get it to stand up straight, try propping it against the wall. Santa's sack is really bulging! Did you get ...

Cleaning Problems

Viewed 9 times
DEAR TIDE LAUNDRY DETERGENT: I'm writing to say what an excellent product you have. I've used it since the beginning of married life, when my Mom told me it was the best. ...

Dog Fight

Viewed 9 times
If only it were this easy... Bush and Osama decided to settle the war once and for all. They sat down and decided to settle the whole dispute with one dog fight. They would ...

If Bush get's elected, I'll leave the country...

Viewed 9 times
Ever wonder what happened to all those celebrities who promised to leave the country if George W. Bush was elected president? The original statements: Eddie Vedder - "I'm ...

 

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