Out of college too long
YOU KNOW YOU'VE BEEN OUT OF COLLEGE TOO LONG WHEN....
* Your potted plants stay alive.
* Having sex in a twin sized bed is absurd.
* You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
* 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to sleep.
* You hear your favorite song on the elevator at work.
* You carry an umbrella.
* You watch the Weather Channel.
* Your friends marry and divorce instead of hook-up and break-up.
* You go from 130 days of vacation time to 7.
* Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as ‘dressed up'
* You're the one calling the police because those damn kids next
door don't know how to turn down the stereo.
* Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
* You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.
* Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
* You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonalds.
* Sleeping on the couch is a no-no.
* You no longer take naps from noon to 6 p.m.
* Dinner and a movie - The whole date instead of the beginning
of one.
* MTV News is no longer your primary source for information.
* You go to the drugstore for Ibuprofen and antacids, not
condoms and pregnancy test kits.
* A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer ‘pretty good stuff'.
* You actually eat breakfast foods at breakfast time.
* Grocery lists are longer than macaroni & cheese, diet pepsi &
Ho-ho's
* "I just can't drink the way I used to" replaces "I'm
never going to drink that much again"
* Over 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real
work.
* You don't get liquored up at home, to save money, before going to a
bar.
