Kids - Ever notice how...
Ever notice how a four-year-old's voice is louder than 200 adult voices?
Several years ago, I returned home from a trip just when a storm hit, with crashing thunder and severe lightning. As I came into my bedroom about 2:00 am, I found my two children in bed with my wife, Karey, apparently scared by the loud storm. I resigned myself to sleep in the guest bedroom that night. The next day, I talked to the children and explained that it was OK to sleep with Mom when the storm was bad but, when I was expected home, please don't sleep with Mom that night. They said OK.
After my next trip several weeks later, Karey and the children picked me up at the airport at the appointed time. Since the plane was late, everyone had come into the terminal to wait for the plane's arrival, along with hundreds of other folks waiting for their passengers. As I entered the waiting area, my son saw me, and came running shouting, "Hi Dad! I've got some good news!"
As I waved back, I said loudly, "What's the good news?"
Alex immediately shouted, "Nobody slept with Mommy while you were away this time!"
The airport became very quiet. Everyone in the waiting area looked at Alex, then turned to me, and then searched the rest of the area to see if they could figure out exactly who his Mom was.
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An acquaintance of mine, who is a physician, told me this story about
her four-year-old daughter. One day on the way to preschool, the doctor had
left her stethoscope on the car seat, and her little girl picked it up and
began playing with it. "Be still, my heart," thought my friend, "my daughter
wants to follow in my footsteps!" Then the child spoke into the instrument:
"Welcome to McDonald's. May I take your order?"
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A little girl asked her mother, "Can I go outside and play with the boys?" Her mother replied, "No, you can't play with the boys - they're too
rough." The little girl thought about it for a few moments and asked, "If I can find a smooth one, can I play with him?"
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A Sunday School teacher asked her little children, as they were on their way to church service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" One bright little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."
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At the beginning of a children's sermon, one girl came up to the altar wearing a beautiful dress. As the children were sitting down around the
pastor, he leaned over and said to the girl, "That's a very pretty dress. Is it your Easter dress?" The girl replied almost directly into the pastor's clip-on microphone, "Yes, and my Mom says it's a sonofabitch to iron!"
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A little girl goes to the barbershop with her father. She stands next to the barber chair, while her dad's hair is being cut, eating a snack cake. The barber says to her, "Sweetheart, don't stand too close. You're gonna get hair on your Twinkie." She replies, "Yes, I know. I'm gonna get boobs too!"
