Future Darwin Award Nominees
For those who are unfamiliar with the Darwin Award, it is given to those
who prove by their actions that Darwin was right... People that stupid
don't survive long enought to breed!
Future nominees for the Darwin Award
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When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a
Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived
at the scene to find an ill man curled up next to a motor Home near
spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying
to steal gasoline and plugged his hose into the motor home's sewage tank
by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying
that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.
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A woman was reporting her car as stolen, and mentioned that there was a
car phone in it. The policeman taking the report called the phone and
told the guy that answered that he had read the ad in the newspaper and
wanted to buy the car. They arranged to meet, and the thief was
arrested.
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45 year-old Amy Brasher was arrested in San Antonio, Texas, after a
mechanic reported to police that 18 packages of marijuana were packed in
the engine compartment of the car which she had brought to the mechanic
for an oil change. According to police, Brasher later said that she
didn't realize that the mechanic would have to raise the hood to change
the oil.
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David Posman, 33, was arrested recently in Providence, R.I, after
allegedly knocking out an armored car driver and stealing the closest
four bags of money. It turned out they contained $800 in PENNIES,
weighed 30 pounds each, and slowed him to a stagger during his getaway
so that police officers easily jumped him from behind.
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The Belgium news agency Belga reported in November that a man suspected
of robbing a jewelry store in Liege said he couldn't have done it
because he was busy breaking into a school at the same time. Police
then arrested him for breaking into the school.
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Drug-possession defendant Christopher Johns, on trial in March in
Pontiac, Michigan, said he had been searched without a warrant. The
prosecutor said the officer didn't need a warrant because a "bulge" in
Christopher's jacket could have been a gun. Nonsense, said Christopher,
who happened to be wearing the same jacket that day in court. He handed
it over so the judge could see it. The judge discovered a packet of
cocaine in the pocket and laughed so hard he required a five-minute
recess to compose himself.
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Clever drug traffickers used a propane tanker truck entering El Paso
from Mexico. They rigged it so propane gas would be released from all of
its valves while the truck concealed 6,240 pounds of marijuana. They
were clever, but not bright. They misspelled the name of the gas
company on the side of the truck.
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Oklahoma City - Dennis Newton was on trial for the armed robbery of a
convenience store in a district court this week when he fired his
lawyer. Assistant district attorney Larry Jones said Newton, 47, was
doing a fair job of defending himself until the store manager testified
that Newton was the robber. Newton jumped up, accused the woman of lying
and then said, "I should of blown your [expletive] head off." The
defendant paused, then quickly added, "-if I'd been the one that was
there." The jury took 20 minutes to convict Newton and recommend a
30-year sentence.
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R.C. Gaitlin, 21, walked up to two patrol officers who were showing
their squad car computer equipment to children in a Detroit
neighborhood. When he asked how the system worked, the officers asked
him for a piece of identification. Gaitlin gave them his driver's
license, they entered it into the computer, and moments later they
arrested Gaitlin because information on the screen showed that Gaitlin
was wanted for a two-year-old armed robbery in St. Louis, Missouri.
