FINALLY - A warning that's worth a laugh.....
subject: WARNING
DO TAKE TIME TO READ THIS....IT IS WORTH IT......
Watch out for Badtimes.
If you receive an email entitled "Badtimes," delete it immed. Do not open it. Apparently this one is pretty nasty. It will not only erase everything on your hard drive, but will also delete anything on disks within 20 ft. of your computer. It demagnetizes the stripes on ALL of your credit cards. It reprograms your ATM access code, screws up the tracking on your VCR and uses subspace field harmonics to scratch any CD's you attempt to play. It will re-calibrate your refrig.'s coolness settings so all your ice cream melts and your milk curdles. It will program your phone autodial to call only your mother-in-law's numnber. This virus will mix antifreeze into your fish tank. It will drink all your beer. It will leave dirty socks on the coffee table when you are expect. company. It's radioactive emissions will cause your toe jam and bellybutton fuzz (be honest, you have some) to migrate behind your ears. It will replace your shampoo with Nair and your Nair with Rogaine, all the while dating your current boy-friend behind your back and billing their hotel rendezvous to your Visa card. It will cause you to run w/scissors and throw things in a way that is only fun until someone loses an eye. It will give you Dutch Elm Disease and tinea. It will rewrite your backup files, changing all your active verbs to passive tense and incorporating undetectable misspellings which grossly change the interpretations of key sentences. If the "Badtimes" message is opened in a Windows95 environment, it will leave the toilet seat up and leave your hair dryer pluggedin dangerously close to a full bathtub. It will not only remove the forbidden tags from your mattresses and pillows, but will also refill your skim milk with whole milk. It will replace all your luncheon meat w/Spam. It will molecularly rearrange your cologne or perfume, causing it to smell like dill pickles. It is insidious and subtle. It is dangerous and terrifying to behold. It is also a rather interesting shade of mauve. These are just a few signs of infection.
PLEASE FORWARD THIS MESSAGE TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW!!!!
