Cow Watch - 2002 (Update 2-26-2002)
Fugitive Cow Finally Captured
The bovine escapee who eluded Cincinnati's finest for 12 days is finally
behind bars tonight. It took the SPCA, three decoy cows, and two shots with
a tranquilizer dart to bring her down. The first shot got her attention
only long enough for SPCA workers to rope her - which really made her mad.
She dragged the workers through the woods, down an embankment, and into a
nearby neighbor's back yard, where a second tranquilizer dart finally
brought her down.
Police Glad Cow Caught
Speaking for Cincinnati police, spokesman Lt. Kurt Byrd said, "I'm glad the
cow's caught."
Where Now Brown Cow?
Addressing the cow's uncertain future, Lt. Byrd added, "It seems as though
they're going to retire her somewhere." For now, the elusive cow is being
held in a makeshift prison under 24 hour guard. So far we have had no
confirmation of plans to move her to a secure military facility at
Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. An unconfirmed rumor has it that Johnnie Cochran has
offered to represent her.
