Chestnuts roasting on a open fire...
Based on a bet by the other members of his threesome, Everett Sanchez tried
to wash his own "balls" in a ball washer at the local golf course. Proving
once again that beer and testosterone are a bad mix, Sanchez managed to
straddle the ball washer and dangle his scrotum in the machine.
Much to his dismay, one of his buddies upped the ante by spinning the crank
on the machine with Sanchez's scrotum in place, thus wedging them solidly in
the mechanism.
Sanchez, who immediately passed his threshold of pain, collapsed and tumbled
from his perch. Unfortunately for Sanchez, the height of the ball washer was
more than a foot higher off the ground than his testicles are in a normal
stance, and the scrotum was the weakest link.
Sanchez's scrotum was ripped open during the fall, and one testicle was
plucked from him forever and remained in the ball washer, while the other
testicle was compressed and flattened as it was pulled between the housing
of the washer, and the rotating machinery inside.
To add insult to injury, Sanchez broke a new $300 driver that he had just
purchased from the pro shop, and was using to balance himself.
Sanchez was rushed to the hospital for surgery, and the remaining two were
asked to leave the course.
