Bill of Rights
Bill of Rights restated
State Representative Mitchell Kaye of Georgia wrote the following:
We, the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to help
everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid any more
riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior, and secure the
blessings of debt-free liberty to our great-great-great-grandchildren,
and ourselves, hereby try one more time to ordain and establish some
common sense guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt-ridden, deluded,
and other mentally weak folk who surround us.
We hold these truths to be self-evident: that a whole lot of people are
confused by the Bill of Rights and are so dim that they require a Bill
of No Rights.
ARTICLE I: You do not have the right to a new car, big screen TV or any
other form of wealth. More power to you if you can legally acquire
them, but No one is guaranteeing anything.
ARTICLE II: You do not have the right to never be offended. This nation
is based on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone - not just you!
You may leave the room, change the channel, express a different opinion,
etc., But the world is full of idiots, and probably always will be.
Accept it.
ARTICLE III: You do not have the right to be free from harm. If you
stick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful, do not expect
the tool manufacturer to make you and all your relatives independently
wealthy.
ARTICLE IV: You do not have the right to free food and housing.
Americans are the most charitable people to be found, and will gladly
help anyone truly in need, but we are quickly growing weary of
subsidizing generation after generation of professional couch potatoes
who achieve nothing more than the creation of another generation of
professional couch potatoes.
ARTICLE V: You do not have the right to free health care. That would be
nice, but from the looks of public housing, we're just not interested in
public health care.
ARTICLE VI: You do not have the right to physically harm other people.
If you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim, or kill someone, don't be
surprised if the rest of us try to see you fry in the electric chair.
ARTICLE VII: You do not have the right to the possessions of others. If
you rob, cheat or coerce away the goods or services of other citizens,
don't be surprised if the rest of us get together and lock you away in
a place where you still won't have the right to a car, a big screen
color TV or a life of leisure.
ARTICLE VIII: You don't have the right to demand that our children risk
their lives in foreign wars to soothe your aching conscience. We hate
oppressive governments and won't lift a finger to stop you from going to
fight if you want to. However, we are not required to parent the entire
world and do not want to spend so much of our blood and money battling
each and every little tyrant with a military uniform and a funny hat.
ARTICLE IX: You don't have the right to a job. All of us sure want you
to have one, and will gladly help you along in hard times, but we expect
you to take advantage of the opportunities of education and vocational
training laid before you to make yourself useful.
ARTICLE X: You do not have the right to happiness. Being an American
means that you have the right to freely pursue happiness - which, by
the way, is a lot easier if you are unencumbered by an over abundance of
idiotic laws created by those of you who were confused by the Bill of
Rights.
