All divorces started with marriage
Statistically 100% of all divorces started with marriage!
I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
Marriage is a 3-ring circus: Engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffer
ring.
The last fight was my fault. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?" I
said, "Dust!"
In the beginning, God created earth and rested. Then God created man
and rested. Then God created woman. Since then, neither God nor man
has rested.
Why do men die before their wives? Cause they want to.
What is the difference between a dog and a fox? About 5 drinks.
A beggar walked up to a well dressed woman shopping on Rodeo Drive and
said "I haven't eaten anything in four days." She looked at him and
said, "God, I wish I had your willpower."
Do you know the punishment for bigamy? Two mothers-in-law.
Young Son: Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man
doesn't know his wife until he marries her? Dad: That happens in every
country, son.
A man inserted an 'ad' in the classified: "Wife wanted". Next day he
received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can
have mine."
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget
it once.
First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!" Second guy: "You're lucky;
mine's still alive."
How do most men define marriage? An expensive way to get laundry done
for free.
Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life
thinking they had no faults at all.
If you want your wife to listen and pay undivided attention to every
word you say, talk in your sleep.
Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was
until I got married; and then it was too late."
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get
married?" And the father replied, "I don't know son. I'm still
paying."
