From an Airplane
This is a rather large guy I know who typed these observations from an airplane...
ok this is the up date from the airplane. ya ya i know you aint supposed to use the internet from the airplane and i am not i am doing this in a word processor so i can make observations from the plane.
1) the people behind me must be the same individuals that were behind me for the last trip cause they cant stop kicking the seat. man that gets old real quick.
2) anymore than one little kid on the plane is too many. it is like they feed off of each other with their little noise energy.
3) if you announce to the world that there is a missing chanel braclet on the plane it becomes like a treasure hunt. and if i find it then maybe the trip may pay for itself (not that i would keep or nothing)
4) there has got to be a way to get internet on the damn plane!!!! i mean come on this is 2006. i am dying here.
5) score free beer woohoo. thats what you get for being a nice guy and not bitching when she forgot it the first time.
6) i asked for a pillow and a blanket not a cotton ball and a postage stamp.
7) southwest has these little crackers that are shaped like little airplanes. they are tasty and you can pretend you are godzilla destroying tokyo.
8) the dude next to you doesnt appreciate the imitation of godzilla and tries to find another seat to sit in further down the plane. hmm grrrrr gnash awwww godzira. mothra (i may get the whole aisle to myself)
9) when boarding greyhound bus style onto a southwest air flight it pays to be the big sweaty dude wedged into the tiny little seat. i guess it is a optical illusion and i take up more space apparently when i am in this tiny little kidergarten sized seat. at least it got me a free middle seat. for more shoulder room.
10) grrrrrrr godzira eat airplane. arrggghhhhh (someting vaguely japenese sounding) hmmm dude is looking at me strangely but not moving. he is whispering to the stewardess (i wonder if there is an air marshall on board and will he understand my interpretation and appreciate of godzilla attacking tokyo)
11) did i mention the free beer already :) it is quite nummy however heineken in a can is kind of the poop
12) this is not an aisle down the middle of the plane. it is more like a rabbit path. who the hell are they kidding. man that bathroom is way down there. godzira pee right here.
13) i guess on an airplane it is perfectly acceptable to get your ass rubbed by every third person as you walk down the rabbit path.. the big black dude wasnt so cool i could have done with out that one. and grandma got to much smile on her face as walked by then i said excuse me and she had a rather big grin on her face.
14) how come if a kid screams on the plane every one looks understandingly at the parent. i play godzira and now i have a circle of clearance around me??
15) ok grandma is looking at me with a smile in her eyes. shit. where to hide now.
16) 37 peanuts well half peanuts thats how many are in the stupid little bag. motto on bag of peanuts "time flies when you are having fun. how much time did they think this was gonna take anyway. grrrrr godzira eat mr peanut. smash plane.
17) how come cars have to have airbags and airplanes dont??? dont you think that they could invent an airbag that would deploy when the plane is gonna crash.
18) speaking of safety devices. you dont have to wear a seatbelt on a bus but you have to on a plane. there are some smart people in the d.o.t. that thought this out right hurtling toward ground buckle up.
accident on bus, feel free to pinball around on the inside of the bus.
19) there is nothing like sitting here making everyone around you think you are crazy. next time remind me to wear my leather aviator jacket and scarf and tell everyone i am the redbaron.
20) i know the moving walkway is ending. wtf cant everyone else see it as well. i know if you were running it might throw you off like a catapult. which would be cool. and if yer blind and cant see it... well i dont recommend that you use it anyhow. and what if the blind guy thought if he was on the walkway and he actually missed then stood still and was like stuck there right where he was. would he ever go anywhere?
