Chronic masturbation has become an increasingly troubling national problem, afflicting millions of otherwise wholesome people every day. Therefore, we at The Manbottle Library have decided that effective today, we will devote ourselves to helping others overcome this problem. So the next time you find yourself having impure thoughts, and desiring to touch yourself, just come here. These wholesome images of cute little kitties will have you thinking pure thoughts, and overcoming those sinful urges in no time. (If the kitties don't work, try this bit of spiritual advice, or maybe this new government initiative.) Remember, think of the kittens...
Monday, April 1, 2002